Chapter 25: It Hurts Too Much

Sid's POV

Her chocolaty gaze meets mine and I find myself taking a step closer to her as my eyes drift down to her full lips that have been tempting me for so long. My hand cups her neck and my thumb drifts across her smooth jaw line, as if my hand has a mind of it's own. Then before I know it, I'm leaning in. I hear her inhale slowly in anticipation and she closes her eyes, her lashes fanned out on her cheek bones. Our lips gently meet and its like hundreds of fireworks going off. Even though I meant it as a quick kiss under the mistletoe, I find myself dropping my hands to her slim waist and pulling her into me. Her arms encircle my neck and she presses herself into me returning the kiss, the feeling of holding her taking me back 4 years ago. Her soft curves against me, quickly has me wanting more. I'm about to give in to my needs, when I'm interrupted by her grandad's voice from down stairs. Reality quickly comes back to me, as though someone has checked me into a wall. 'what am I doing, I'm engage,' I think. I quickly pull away at the same time Caitlin does. She looks at me for a moment as the reality of the situation comes back to her, her eyes full of hurt as she looks at me.

"Yeah, I'll be right down,"she calls quickly looking away from me, her voice slightly shaking with emotion.

She picks up the two logs and walks away.

"I'll ... um... get your coffee," I manage to cough out.

Back to Caitlin's POV

We leave Grandma and Grandad's about an hour and a half later, the car ride is silent, and extremely awkward. We make it back to Grandma and Pap's to spend the night, planning to leaving at 9:00 the next morning. After getting ready for bed, and letting the dogs out, I crawl onto the comfy air mattress, my dogs crowding around me, sensing something is wrong. Bran, gingerly lays down next to me, careful not to break the mattress. I snuggle into him, burying my head into his neck, feeling his course fur against my face. The feeling takes me back to four years ago, on the beach with Bran, crying on his shoulder after leaving Sidney's house. Sid turns off the light and I hear him slide into his bed. We haven't spoken to each other since the kiss.

"Caitlin, I'm sorry," he whispers in the darkness.

I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall, but one warm tear streaks down my face anyway.

"Me too," I whisper.

The next morning, Sid and I pretend as if nothing happened so my family doesn't pick up on anything. After a teary goodbye to my grandma, she always cries when we leave, and an extremely sad goodbye to my mom, knowing that I won't see her until Easter, we head back to Pittsburgh. The whole ride is silent, and at one point the song "We Belong Together" by Gavin DeGraw comes on the radio.

We belong together
like the open seas and shores
wedded by the planet force
we've all been spoken for

The hammer may strike, be dead on the ground.
a net to my hand, a cross on his crown.
we're done if, who we're undone,
finished if who we are incomplete.
as one we are everything,
we are everything we need.

'I have never heard this song on the radio before, talk about ironic,' I think to myself as a push the scan button before the chorus starts again. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sid, look at me, but I don't attempt to look and try to read his expression, it hurts too much. Instead I keep my eyes trained on the road, glancing back a few times to check on my dogs. We get home and I pull my bag out of the car.

"Well, thanks for letting me spend Christmas with you, I really had a great time," Sid says breaking the silence.

"Yeah, me too. My family loved you." I say forcing myself to smile back. He looks at me, concern written all over his face.

"Caitlin, I'm really sorry," he whispers.

"Me too, Sid."I say avoiding his stare.

"I didn't mean to ..." he starts.

"It's okay." I say taking a deep breath.

"So, I'll see you later?" he asks.

"Yeah, see you later," I respond half heartily as I turn away from him to go into my house, leaving him standing in my driveway.

The dogs run into the house ahead of me, I close the door behind me and lean up against it, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I slide to the floor my arms hugging my knees. I give into to hurt and tears I have trying to hold back for the past day. My head to my knees, I allow myself to cry, letting out an abundance of tears. Bran comes to my side and just sits there, keeping me company, letting me talk out my feelings.

"I can't keep letting him do this to me," I sob, "it hurts too much."

After what seems like an eternity, but is really only about half an hour, I pull myself together enough to drag myself upstairs for a nap. I lay in my bed, and slowly drift off to sleep. My dogs all pile into the bed with me, they are always there for me, helping me to pull through life's difficulties.

August 29, 2008 at Friday, August 29, 2008

4 Comments to "Chapter 25: It Hurts Too Much"

Sorry it's a kinda of short chapter, there is more to come, this weekend. I've already started on the next chapter and hopefully should be finished tomorrow. Thanks for waiting so patiently :)
~ Aeryn

Posted by Anonymous ( August 30, 2008 at 7:34 AM )

I loved it! It made me want to cry though. I feel so bad for Caitlin. Sidney needs to realize what he's doing to her, and why he shouldn't be engaged to some puck bunny, lol.

I LOVE THIS STORY!!! i wish i had a doggy like Bran! My puppy is just short and hyper!

I loved that chapter. And I agree with sportsgirl3115, Sidney needs to realize what he's doing. And he needs to dump the puckbunny. Please post soon, or whenever you get the chance.=]

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Discovering...Love? by AS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.