Chapter 72: Not Enough?

It was over. I couldn’t believe it. I stood my back to the door looking into the house that now seemed foreign to me. This had once been my house, but over the past few months with … him, it had become our house. Now, it was a barren house. It’s home like feeling ended when he said that he had slept with some other girl while we were together, and not just some girl, Victoria. When she came prancing in and broke the news that she and Sid had slept together it was if someone had punched me. I didn’t want to believe her, but as soon as he came in and my eyes met his I found her statement to be true. I was so angry at him and then he mentioned Bran. That’s when I realized that I would be without both of them. Bran was only going to be around awhile longer and I thought Sid would be there for me. That he would help me through the hard times and be my partner. But how could he now, my partnership was based on trust, he destroyed it.

I felt broken. Betrayed. Hurt. Angry. How could he do that to me? The question, ‘was I not enough’ popped into my head. Suddenly a wave of melancholy washed over me. What was I going to do? I felt the tears pooling in my eyes and they blurred my vision as I watched my pack come over to me. My hands came to my stomach thinking of the child growing inside of me. What were WE going to do?

“No,” I found myself saying aloud.

I wasn’t going to let him do this to me. Not again. I was not going to cry over Sidney Crosby. Not again. I was done. I wiped the annoying tears away and walked into the kitchen, picking up the phone that was on the counter. I looked at the old calls and when I found the number pushed send.

“Hello, DogTown, how may I help you?” a voice replied after the third ring.

“Hi yes this is Caitlin Shaw, is John there?”

“One moment please, I’ll transfer you,” the secretary replied.

After only a few seconds of waiting I heard her voice on the end.

“Caitlin, how are you?” she asks.

How was I? That was a loaded question at the moment that sends a wave of emotions my way. I took a deep breath calming myself.

“Fine thanks,” I lie, “John, I’ve been doing some thinking and if the offer still stands I would like to take the job.”

“Great! Of course the offer still stands, you’re one of the best, it’s my honor to invite you to work here.”

“When do you need me?”

“Oh take your time, there is no rush,” he says.

“I can be there on Monday,” I find myself saying.

It felt like my whole world was collapsing around me. Sidney and I were broken up because he cheated on me, Bran was dying from cancer, and I was pregnant. I had to get out of here; there was no other choice.

I look back at the house as I put the last bag I’ll need in my jeep. I had hired a moving truck to take all of my stuff to Utah, making sure they were here to get everything when I knew Sid would have practice. I take a deep breath looking at the house one last time. Thinking briefly of all the events that played out in the house, and all that had happened in the past year. I sigh as a tear escapes down my cheek. I brush it away quickly and whistle for the dogs to get in the car.

I pull up to her house and get out of the car.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell the dogs through the windows of the car.

I go up to the door knocking on it to have it open minutes later to Zach and Koda.

“Hey Zack is Beth home? Hi Koda,” I say bending down to pet the fluffy white dog.

“Yeah, sure come on in. Do you want anything to drink or anything?” he asks.

“No thanks, I’ve gotta run.”

“Alright, I’ll go get her,” he says.

Moments later Beth comes into view.

“Hey Cait, what’s up?”

“Beth, I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean you’re leaving,” she says stopping to stare at me.

“Sid and I broke up. I took the job in Utah. I start Monday.”

“But Caitlin that’s in 2 days!” she says exasperated, “And you and Sid will make up, you two are meant to be together.”

“No we’re not,” I snap back bitterly.

“But Cait, what happened?” she pushes, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“It… it just didn’t work out. Beth I have to leave the dogs are in the car,” I say taking her in a hug.

“But… you can’t just leave,” she says tearfully.

“I have to Beth,” I sigh.

“What about your business?”

“I already took care of everything. I called my clients, referenced them to a new dog trainer. Mary is working at the vets now. Everything is taken care of. I need to get out of here.”

She looks at me knowing that I have already made up my mind. She nods. I hug her before I turn away to leave, saying goodbye to Koda on my way out.

“I’ll be back for Christmas,” I smile weakly at her as I watch her hold in her tears, “I’m sure Brad will be as big as Shaq by then.”

She let’s out a watery laugh.

I smile and leave, getting back in my jeep. I take a deep breath the car was packed with all the dogs. My hands again come to my stomach subconsciously. It was going to be a long ride.

November 17, 2009 at Tuesday, November 17, 2009 , 11 Comments

Chapter 71: "Oh God."

Ok, so 1:30, not 12. I was close though, eh? ;) ~ Aeryn

I sat in my seat, watching as Sid came out holding his stick high as he was announced the 1st star of the game. I grin, as I watch him skate in a slow circle before heading back down the runway. I had yet to wipe the smile off my face. It had been a permanent fixture on my face since I saw the plus sign. I was going to tell him as soon as this game was over, and I had been hoping that it would be a good game so that he would be in a good mood. Thank God it was! The Pens had won against the Rangers, 4-2, with Sid getting two of the goals. I was about to burst! I had to tell him. Sure a part of me wanted to tell him in one of those cute surprising ways, but I wanted to tell him before anyone else. And I needed to tell someone. I wasn’t exactly sure how he’d take it. But finally there was light, after Bran I had been depressed, I knew I had. I tried to not think about it, but it was always there. Now there could be a new life to look forward to.

I get up from my seat and make my way downstairs and into family lounge area. I converse with the various girlfriends and wives, but they mostly leave me alone. Probably because I’m so distracted, I’m not listening to what they are saying. Not being rude, I just can’t. As I’m off in my own little world, players come in and claim their mates. Finally, I hear the door open and know that it has to be him. After all I’m the only one left in here. I look up with a smile. Which immediately fades.

A blond wearing a burgundy blouse and high waisted skirt accompanied with matching high heels comes in the door. A wicked smile plastered on her face.

“Caitlin! How are you?” she says in a high-pitched fake voice.

“What are you doing here Victoria?” I bite out.

“I came to see Sidney, see how he was doing. I thought I might pick up the pieces, thinking that you would have left him. What a shock to find you in here! I was sure that when he told you about that night, that you would have run,” she smiles her voice dripping with fake sincerity.

“What night? What are you talking about?” I ask. What was she talking about? I wanted to blow past her, not fall for her trap but her acrylic nails had sunk in too far. Why would I dump Sid?

“Why his birthday night silly,” she laughs, “You mean, he didn’t tell you? Well, since you couldn’t be there because of all that work you had to do I helped him celebrate. After all it’s not everyday that someone turns 26.”

“What are you talking about?”

Sid’s POV

I skate out onto the ice as they call my name for the first star, a smile plastered on my face. We played a great game and that was one of the reasons for the smile, but the main reason was anticipation. I had come home after practice to see Caitlin smiling. She was in a great mood and that has been a rarity since she got the news about Bran. She told me she had something to tell me, but that I had to wait until after the game. I walk back to the dressing room trying to figure out what it could be. Bran was cancer free? No, that couldn’t be it. Promotion? How could she get promoted, she was the boss. Unless it was about that job. The “Jon” hadn’t said where the job was just that it was far away, and I assumed that if she took the job that she would have to move. But would she really be happy with that. I mean, I knew we hadn’t been the model relationship and she had been really distant lately with the whole Bran thing. But she wasn’t going to move.

I sigh shaking my head; I needed to stop thinking that she was going to run.

I finish up with all of the reporters as fast as I can, wanting to hear the news. Even though I blew through the interviews in record time and was pretty sure I had taken the fastest shower on record I was still the last guy out. What’s new.

I find myself practically running to get to the lounge to go see her. I quickly open the door and walk in, only to be horrified with the sight I see. As I open the door I feel my jaw drop at the sight of her high-end clothes and fake blonde hair. Although I had told Colby and Marc about that night I had never said whom it was with. It’s just I was so down that night and she was there, we had a past, I was drunk. I watch as Caitlin’s eyes flicker up to me. They showed no emotion, they were almost dead which was very unlike her shining chocolaty eyes that always gave away her emotions. I walked closer my eyes never leaving hers, upon closer inspection I could see that they had taken on a reddish undertone.

“Oh God,” I whisper. She knew.

“Oh hey there Siddy Poo! I was just telling Caitlin how much fun your birthday night was and how surprised I was that you two were still together,” Victoria turns to me smiling and giving me hug, which I didn’t return. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the woman staring daggers into me.

“Caitlin…” I begin walking over to her.

“Save it Sid,” she says going for the door.

I grab her arm, not willing to let her go. This should have never happened and I should have told her a long time ago.

“No, wait. Please just hear me out,” I plead with her.

“Oh my God! You mean you didn’t tell her?!” Victoria gasps in fake shock, “Oh and here I am blabbing on about how it was nothing and you didn’t even tell her?!”

“What the hell do you want me to say Sid?! Aww… this is all my fault if only I had been there none of this would have happened?” Caitlin says her voice rising with each word.

“Hun, it didn’t mean anything. I was drunk and you weren’t there so I was…”

“No Crosby! Don’t you dare tag this one on me! I couldn’t get away from work you know that!”

Ugh, I hated when she did this. She shut me out, wouldn’t listen to my side of the story. I was so sick of this working excuse.

“You ALWAYS have to work! You miss half my games, I didn’t see you for almost 3 months because you were working,” I find myself shouting back.

“Look who’s talking Mr. Hockey! You’re not exactly home every moment waiting for me!”

“Um… I think I’m just going to go, I’ll talk to you later Sidney,” Victoria says with a smile slipping out the door.

“What about the other job?” I ask.

“What other job?” she asks in a huff her hands flying up in frustration.

“I heard the message from Jon on the answering machine.”

“I didn’t even take that job!” she yells back, “I turned down the opportunity of a life time to be with you!!”

I can only look at her in shock.

“Don’t turn this on me. You are the one who slept with another woman! Victoria no less!” she shouts loud enough to crack the ice.


“No, Sid. No buts. Nothing you can say or do is going to make this one better,” she says her voice faltering for a minute, “Did you honestly think that you could hide something like this from me forever?!”

“No, I was going to tell you but then you found out about Bran,” I begin to explain, but as soon as I mention Bran I regret it. She inhales sharply and looks away, tears brimming in her eyes that she doesn’t want me to see.

“Caitlin, no that’s not what I meant… I …”I begin again, trying desperately to fix my mistake. But the damage is already done, before I can explain she puts a hand up silencing me.

“Enough Sidney,” she says in a quiet voice her eyes no longer held anger, just an immense amount of hurt.

She begins to walk away from me and out the door. I know that if she goes out that door that I may not get another chance. So I grab her arm gently. I can’t lose her.

“Caitlin please,” I beg.

Her eyes finally drag up to meet mine and I wince at the brokenness I see.

“No, Sid. I’m sorry but I can’t trust you anymore. I need time to think,” she says softly.

“Caitlin,” I plead in a vain attempt to make her say. She looks away from me and shakes her head. I know she no longer trusts her voice. Her hand comes to my hand on her arm and she gently pries it away from her before quietly slipping out the door, leaving me standing there wondering if I will ever see her again.

November 09, 2009 at Monday, November 09, 2009 , 9 Comments

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Discovering...Love? by AS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.