The next two days are pretty miserable, but I don't let anyone see me cry. The girls and I stay pretty clear from the beach. We hit a zoo the one day and an art museum the next day, but the afternoon of our last day they go to the beach for one last time. I'm about to go too, but I see all the guys coming out of the house and onto the beach. I don't know if he's out there, but I don't think I could face any of them right now. I leave the house with Bran to go on some hiking trail, I've been doing a lot of walking lately. I poke my head out the door and see that everyone is talking about something, and I know that that something is me and Sid. I yell out that Bran and I are going hiking but I don't wait for a response, I just leave. Bran and I get back at 9:30 that night, Amber makes some joke about me being eaten by an Alligator, but I just go upstairs into my room to finish packing.
The next morning Bran and I go for a jog like always. When I'm done I stand at the water's edge and inhale the unique salty scent. I slowly take off my shoes and socks and begin to wade out into the water. Bran begins to fallow me, but I tell him to stay. I go into chest deep water and take a deep breath. I go under the water and enjoy the feeling of it enveloping me. This is my good bye, I tell the ocean. I come back up and float around for a moment before whistling for Bran to join me.
"Alright, i think that's the last of it," Brooke says putting a suit case in the back of her van. I glance over at the house next to ours and see that all the guys are coming out to say goodbye, that is all the guys but one, I notice.
"Hey, you guys all packed up and ready to go," Flower asks.
"Yeah, we're headed out," Amber replies.
"Uh, Caitlin can I talk to you," Colby asks.
I nod my head in response and fallow him a little distance away.
"So your leaving, eh?" he asks rubbing the back of his neck.
"Yeah, we'll stop in North Carolina and spend the night like we did when we came. Then we'll all go to PA, I'll spend the night at Brooke's, say good-bye, then Bran and I will head back to Maryland." I reply.
"So you do live in Maryland," he says.
"Yes, I told Sid that I didn't lie to him. I live in Maryland and I go to the University of Maryland. I was born and raised in PA, I lived in a town about an hour away from Pittsburgh, but the summer I graduated high school my family moved to Maryland."
"I see. Why didn't you tell him you knew?"
"Colby, I figured it he really wanted to be with me that he would tell me he played for the Penguins. I thought that it would be just a summer fling, no big deal, but..."
"but it wasn't. You fell in love with him, didn't you?" he pushes.
"yeah," I whisper not able to look at him, "but it doesn't matter, I just have to move on." A tear falls on my cheek but I bat at wiping it away.
"Caitlin..." he starts.
"Don't worry about me Colby, I'll be fine, just be there for Sid okay. I can't be there for him, and I doubt that he wants me there. I'm just lucky my parents raised me to be annoyingly independent," I say with a pathetic attempt at a smile.
"I'm gonna miss you kid, we had some good times, even if it didn't end well."he sighs giving me a hug.
"Yeah, bye Colby. Could you do something for me?" I ask returning his hug.
"Depends," he replies cautiously. I go to my jeep and pull an envelope out of the glove compartment.
"Will you give this to Sidney, it just explains everything I explained to you," I say.
"Yeah, I can do that."
"Thanks Colby, good luck with the Thrashers, I wanna see you back in Pittsburgh though," I smile giving him one last hug.
"Ha, we'll see."
I continue to say good-bye to all the guys, Jordan is the last one I say good-bye to. Besides Sidney, he's the one I got the closest to.
"Well, bye Jordan," I say reaching up to give him a hug.
"Bye, Caitlin. I'm sorry he hurt you, I told him not to but...." he begins.
"Ah, Jordan, don't worry about me. I'm tough, I'll get over it in time." I say with a smile. ' Or at least I hope I will' I think. "Look me up if your ever playing the Caps in D.C., my campus is only an hour away."
"Will do, but only if you'll visit us when you're in Pittsburgh."
"Alright." I grin, but I know that neither of us will.
After all the goodbyes we all head to Charlotte, leaving the beach, and my heart behind.
Sid's POV
'I came to get away from it all. Thinking I would just spend a couple of days in Florida resting up
and relaxing, but no, she came into my life. But she's gone now', i think as I watch her green jeep go up the road. I sigh as I watch her go. Upon hearing the door open, I quickly return to the couch pretending to have been watching TV this whole time so they don't think I was watching her out the window as they all said goodbye, which was exactly what I was doing.
"Alright boys, lets go spend one last day on the beach," Max says. Everyone voices their approval and then it gets quiet.
"Sid, what about you?" I hear Flower ask quietly.
"No, I'm just gonna stay into day, I need to start packing," I lie, I started packing yesterday.
They all just leave, but Colby stays.
"I think you should go out there today. It's our last day together for awhile," he starts.
"I'm not really in the mood." I respond focusing my attention to the TV screen without really watching TV.
"Fine. But just so you know you really hurt her, Sid. She thinks you hate her," he says.
"I do." I respond looking up at him angrily.
"No, you don't Sid, it's the very opposite," he sighs, "look, she asked me to give this to you. I think you should read it."
"I don't want to."
"Fine. I'm going out with the boys." he says leaving the envelope on the coffee table in front of me.
After waiting a few moments after hearing the door shut behind him, I sigh and pick up the envelope. I open it and find a note inside.
Sidney,
I don't know if you're actually reading this. For all know you could have thrown it away. But in case my judgement was right and Colby gave you this letter, I would like to explain somethings. I was born and raised in Pennsylvania, in a town about an hour away from Pittsburgh. I used to sit on my dad's lap watching the Pens play, not understanding anything about the game except that putting the black dot on the TV screen into the net was a good thing. When I was 5, my dad started working a different job and he didn't have time for hockey anymore, so I lost interest. Then when I was 16 my Aunt, who is a hardcore Pens fan got me back into hockey and I've been addicted ever since. The end of my sophomore year of high school my dad lost his job along with the rest of the factory he worked at. He was offered money and good luck in finding another job, or he could go back to college and they would pay for part of it, he chose college. He graduated from college the same year I graduated from high school. The winter before he graduated he set up a job in Maryland. My parents had been talking for a few years about moving somewhere sunnier and decided on a house in Maryland. So we moved after I graduated, and upon knowing in advance where we would be moving, I applied and got accepted into the University of Maryland. I tried to explain all this to you the other day, but you wouldn't let me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I knew who you were sooner, but I thought that if you wanted me to know you'd tell me. I also thought that this would be just a summer fling so it didn't matter if I knew or not. I don't know if it was just a fling for you, but Sid, you managed to steal my heart in a matter of days. I have never fallen for a guy so quickly before, and after how things turned out with this, I never want to again. Even though I have been denying it to my friends, I have to face the truth and I figured you might as well know it too. I love you.
But that doesn't matter now. I'm out of your life and you'll never have to see me again, just like you wanted.
Good luck next season,
Caitlin
The next morning Bran and I go for a jog like always. When I'm done I stand at the water's edge and inhale the unique salty scent. I slowly take off my shoes and socks and begin to wade out into the water. Bran begins to fallow me, but I tell him to stay. I go into chest deep water and take a deep breath. I go under the water and enjoy the feeling of it enveloping me. This is my good bye, I tell the ocean. I come back up and float around for a moment before whistling for Bran to join me.
"Alright, i think that's the last of it," Brooke says putting a suit case in the back of her van. I glance over at the house next to ours and see that all the guys are coming out to say goodbye, that is all the guys but one, I notice.
"Hey, you guys all packed up and ready to go," Flower asks.
"Yeah, we're headed out," Amber replies.
"Uh, Caitlin can I talk to you," Colby asks.
I nod my head in response and fallow him a little distance away.
"So your leaving, eh?" he asks rubbing the back of his neck.
"Yeah, we'll stop in North Carolina and spend the night like we did when we came. Then we'll all go to PA, I'll spend the night at Brooke's, say good-bye, then Bran and I will head back to Maryland." I reply.
"So you do live in Maryland," he says.
"Yes, I told Sid that I didn't lie to him. I live in Maryland and I go to the University of Maryland. I was born and raised in PA, I lived in a town about an hour away from Pittsburgh, but the summer I graduated high school my family moved to Maryland."
"I see. Why didn't you tell him you knew?"
"Colby, I figured it he really wanted to be with me that he would tell me he played for the Penguins. I thought that it would be just a summer fling, no big deal, but..."
"but it wasn't. You fell in love with him, didn't you?" he pushes.
"yeah," I whisper not able to look at him, "but it doesn't matter, I just have to move on." A tear falls on my cheek but I bat at wiping it away.
"Caitlin..." he starts.
"Don't worry about me Colby, I'll be fine, just be there for Sid okay. I can't be there for him, and I doubt that he wants me there. I'm just lucky my parents raised me to be annoyingly independent," I say with a pathetic attempt at a smile.
"I'm gonna miss you kid, we had some good times, even if it didn't end well."he sighs giving me a hug.
"Yeah, bye Colby. Could you do something for me?" I ask returning his hug.
"Depends," he replies cautiously. I go to my jeep and pull an envelope out of the glove compartment.
"Will you give this to Sidney, it just explains everything I explained to you," I say.
"Yeah, I can do that."
"Thanks Colby, good luck with the Thrashers, I wanna see you back in Pittsburgh though," I smile giving him one last hug.
"Ha, we'll see."
I continue to say good-bye to all the guys, Jordan is the last one I say good-bye to. Besides Sidney, he's the one I got the closest to.
"Well, bye Jordan," I say reaching up to give him a hug.
"Bye, Caitlin. I'm sorry he hurt you, I told him not to but...." he begins.
"Ah, Jordan, don't worry about me. I'm tough, I'll get over it in time." I say with a smile. ' Or at least I hope I will' I think. "Look me up if your ever playing the Caps in D.C., my campus is only an hour away."
"Will do, but only if you'll visit us when you're in Pittsburgh."
"Alright." I grin, but I know that neither of us will.
After all the goodbyes we all head to Charlotte, leaving the beach, and my heart behind.
Sid's POV
'I came to get away from it all. Thinking I would just spend a couple of days in Florida resting up
and relaxing, but no, she came into my life. But she's gone now', i think as I watch her green jeep go up the road. I sigh as I watch her go. Upon hearing the door open, I quickly return to the couch pretending to have been watching TV this whole time so they don't think I was watching her out the window as they all said goodbye, which was exactly what I was doing.
"Alright boys, lets go spend one last day on the beach," Max says. Everyone voices their approval and then it gets quiet.
"Sid, what about you?" I hear Flower ask quietly.
"No, I'm just gonna stay into day, I need to start packing," I lie, I started packing yesterday.
They all just leave, but Colby stays.
"I think you should go out there today. It's our last day together for awhile," he starts.
"I'm not really in the mood." I respond focusing my attention to the TV screen without really watching TV.
"Fine. But just so you know you really hurt her, Sid. She thinks you hate her," he says.
"I do." I respond looking up at him angrily.
"No, you don't Sid, it's the very opposite," he sighs, "look, she asked me to give this to you. I think you should read it."
"I don't want to."
"Fine. I'm going out with the boys." he says leaving the envelope on the coffee table in front of me.
After waiting a few moments after hearing the door shut behind him, I sigh and pick up the envelope. I open it and find a note inside.
Sidney,
I don't know if you're actually reading this. For all know you could have thrown it away. But in case my judgement was right and Colby gave you this letter, I would like to explain somethings. I was born and raised in Pennsylvania, in a town about an hour away from Pittsburgh. I used to sit on my dad's lap watching the Pens play, not understanding anything about the game except that putting the black dot on the TV screen into the net was a good thing. When I was 5, my dad started working a different job and he didn't have time for hockey anymore, so I lost interest. Then when I was 16 my Aunt, who is a hardcore Pens fan got me back into hockey and I've been addicted ever since. The end of my sophomore year of high school my dad lost his job along with the rest of the factory he worked at. He was offered money and good luck in finding another job, or he could go back to college and they would pay for part of it, he chose college. He graduated from college the same year I graduated from high school. The winter before he graduated he set up a job in Maryland. My parents had been talking for a few years about moving somewhere sunnier and decided on a house in Maryland. So we moved after I graduated, and upon knowing in advance where we would be moving, I applied and got accepted into the University of Maryland. I tried to explain all this to you the other day, but you wouldn't let me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I knew who you were sooner, but I thought that if you wanted me to know you'd tell me. I also thought that this would be just a summer fling so it didn't matter if I knew or not. I don't know if it was just a fling for you, but Sid, you managed to steal my heart in a matter of days. I have never fallen for a guy so quickly before, and after how things turned out with this, I never want to again. Even though I have been denying it to my friends, I have to face the truth and I figured you might as well know it too. I love you.
But that doesn't matter now. I'm out of your life and you'll never have to see me again, just like you wanted.
Good luck next season,
Caitlin
Damn it, Colby was right. I didn't hate her, I fell in love with her. But now there was nothing I could do. She could live anywhere in Maryland and even if I wanted to look. I didn't have any pictures of her, hell I didn't even know her last name. I found someone who could possibly be the love of my life, the one I was meant to be with, and now she was gone. "Fate's a bitch," I mutter to myself.
2 Comments to "Chapter 13: This is My Goodbye"