My last letter to you... and it's long...

My Dear Readers,

Well, this is it! My last letter to you in Discovering… Love? Wow, I never thought I’d write that. This story has been going on since June of 2008, that’s 2 ½ years! I don’t want to make this too corny and sickeningly sweet, but I needed to write something. And I wanted to write this before I posted the end, because I didn't want to take too much focus away from the story (this turned out to be way longer than I had wanted it to, but oh well...)

First, while I have everyone’s attention:

Discovering… Love? Chapter 87 will be posted this coming week, so keep an eye out for it (I promise it will be up!) And the day AFTER chp 87 is posted the Epilogue will be up (it will be the length of a normal chapter), so don’t stop reading after chapter 87 there is still a little bit more.

People have requested another Sidney Crosby story, but to be honest, I don’t think that will happen from me. I don’t like to write players twice… but maybe… ya never know! Maybe someday I’ll sit down and write a new and better version of this story, just because there would be many things I would change in this (ie how they met). I will most definitely be continuing my Max Talbot story! With Discovering… Love? being finished, Snapshot will be my new focus. With that being said, hopefully it will be updated more frequently. I’d like to do a Kris Letang story at some point, maybe a Jordan Staal and a Jonathan Toews thrown in there. I don’t think any of them will be as long as this one though, they’ll all be ‘relatively’ short from here on out, meaning they won’t be 87 chapters.

Now to comments. Through this story I have received absolutely FANTASTIC comments, many of which left me speechless from the generous praise. Almost all were insanely positive and few (if any) were negative, none were hostile or rude. I thank you for keeping the comments clean and giving me constructive criticism, it helped a lot! The feedback you gave on the different chapters allowed me to judge what you liked reading the most (especially when you said, “my favorite part was…”) and I tried to incorporate those things into the story more. When I began this story, I never realized nor would I ever have guessed, that my writing would have such an impact on not only me but some of my readers as well. I can’t thank you enough for the comments, they’re always such a joy to read and so helpful! As for my spelling/ grammatical errors that some have said about, I must admit I get a chuckle out of those comments. Like I said they’re never mean, always constructive and welcome, but it’s a well-known fact among my friends and family that I am a HORRIBLE speller. So I apologize for the spelling errors. Spell check is my savior, but sometimes it leads me astray.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sticking with me and reading the story. This was my first ever story, and in these 2+ years, it has helped me through some of life’s ups and downs. And I know that shows in the story. Caitlin is, and probably will remain, the character that most reflects me, and the person I hope to become. I think a lot of you could relate to her, which was what I had hoped to accomplish.

Now that this has become just about as long as a chapter, and some have probably stopped reading because it’s not the story, I’m done.

Thank you for absolutely everything! Your patience and comments have been remarkable. And if you would like to continue reading my work, you’ll have to turn to Snapshot.

Happy New Year and Enjoy the Winter Classic! (go Pens!)

~ Aeryn

P.S. I’m not one to beg for comments, BUT I would love to see my inbox flooded with a ton of that lovely feedback in the last chapter and epilogue, that I spoke of before… ya know, just saying they would be nice (as subtle as that hint was ;) )

December 31, 2010 at Friday, December 31, 2010 , 4 Comments

Chapter 86: It's Time!

“Ruff… ruff…”

‘Is it 7:30 already?’ I think, closing my eyes tighter in a hope that it will somehow turn back the time a few minutes so I can sleep again.

“Ruff… Ruff…” it was a little more urgent this time.

“Shh… Flash let her sleep,” I hear his sleep gravely voice whisper from beside me, “Come on, I’ll let you out.”

I feel the bed move slightly, I hear him pull on his jeans from last night and the slight jingle of Flash’s collar as he moves quickly out of the room and downstairs. I keep my eyes closed willing sleep to come back to me, even for just a little bit, but to no avail. I sigh, and open my eyes. When did I become my mother, getting up early and never able to fall back asleep? I groan slightly as I sit up in bed, letting the pillows help the ache in my lower back.

I hear the door open from downstairs and a rush of paws passing the threshold. The sound of claws on wood and id tags jingling becomes louder and louder, until the door that was closed but not latched swings open and I’m met with a flurry of fur.

“Good Morning,” I chuckle as the bed groans with the weight that has suddenly been jumped on it.

Maggie wiggles her way to my side and Sam places a wet kiss on my cheek (the boys had gotten back from a road trip late last night, Tanger had yet to pick him up). Finn and Ty make themselves comfortable at the foot of the bed, while Flash and Hawkeye take the Sid’s spot next to me. I see Sid look around the door with a sigh, his shoulders slightly slumping in defeat.

“I didn’t close the door the whole way, eh?” He ran a hand through his hair now longer hair, that had just begun curling at the ends.

“Nope,” I smirk, letting my eyes wander over his solid and bare torso. Watching as his bicep jumps slightly when he moves his arm away from his hair.

“Sorry, babe. I tried to get you more sleep,” he sighs walking over to me, “Alright, everybody off, go lay somewhere else.”

The dogs just look at him like he’s crazy.

“Come on you heard him, Off!” I laugh, pushing Finn with my foot.

They all grumble in protest but move anyway, giving Sid space to lie down. He chuckles as they all plop down on the floor, waiting for me to get up and feed them.

“Good Morning,” he smiles at me, bringing his lips sweetly to meet mine.

“Morning,” I mumble against him, the slight scruff of his playoff ‘beard’ tickling my face. It wasn’t as bad as it was when he was 21, but it’s still rather pathetic, I think smiling into the kiss.

“And good morning to you too,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss against my huge exposed stomach. It was just easier sleeping in a sports bra these days. “I missed you,” he says looking up at me, those hazel eyes softening.

“I missed you too. What time did you get in last night?”

“It was around 1:30,” he yawns, “Tanger said he’d pick up Sam after practice.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

“And how are you?” he asks, his eyes never leaving mine.

I knew the question he was asking.

“You mean since I talked to you after the game last night, ok. But not yet Sid,” I smile.

He smiles at me sheepishly, his hand coming to my stomach as he presses another kiss to my lips.

Sid’s POV

“Anything yet?” Bylsma asks me as I lean against my stick and watch the boys shoot pucks at Flower playfully.

“Not yet,” I sigh, my eyes not leaving them.

“It will be soon Sid, just be patient,” he smiles.

“I know… it’s just… What if I’m on the ice? Or God forbid we’re on the road….” I begin, finally verbalizing the thoughts that had been worrying me.

“We’ll get you there. One way or another, we’ll get you there,” he laughs.

I sigh and nod. I wanted to focus my thoughts on the game tonight. We were in round 2 of the playoffs, game 6 against the Bruins and if we won tonight we were moving on to round 3. But I couldn’t, the imminent May 24th due date was approaching fast, 10 days to be exact, and I couldn’t imagine Caitlin’s stomach getting any bigger. I was ready to be a dad and after all we had been through it was so close!

I had mostly moved back into the house in the past two months, shivering because the air conditioning was cranked up so high. I’m pretty sure the dogs had yet to lose their winter coats. We were officially together again… finally. It felt right. It felt wonderful to come home to her again, even though she was getting crankier as her belly increased in size. I was with her whenever I could be, soaking in her pregnancy and helping when she would let me. A few days before she had cleaned out the entire kitchen with the intent of reorganizing it. I came home to find her leaning against the cupboard exhausted. I ended up putting everything back as she went to bed early.

The baby’s room was ready. We had converted the guest room into the new nursery, with the help of some of the guys of course. The walls were painted a soft green, and white wooden furniture added to the softness of the room. Tiny clothes were in the drawers and a few soft toys were placed in the appropriate places. The room was set, we were set … and still waiting.

After a month of trying, I had finally convinced her a few days ago to stop working until AFTER the baby was born. She had found a place going around to all the shelters in the area, helping to match people with dogs and to train problem dogs. I could tell she was still restless with her job, being that she didn’t have a definite one. I knew she missed Utah sometimes, even if she didn’t say it, and I knew she missed owning her own business too.

I step out of my car and knock on the door. Hearing a dog bark, informing his owner that I was at the door. The door opens not even moments later, to reveal a grinning red head and a big white dog.

Caitlin’s POV

I let out another heavy sigh as I change the channel. Finn lay next to me with head on my lap. The dogs all laying around me, asleep. I was SO BORED!!! I couldn’t really do anything! And Sid, made me promise not to step foot in a shelter until at least 2 weeks after the baby was born. Like I said, BORED.

Sid’s POV

“What about that one?” I ask, pointing to a rather large one in the corner of the display case.

“I’m sorry, who are you shopping for?” Beth asks, “Cause, she would never wear that.”

“Ok… what about that one.”

“Do you want her to wear it?”

“Of course I do!”

“All the time?”

“Well… yeah!” I reply, I wanted people to know she was taken, that she was mine.

“Then stop thinking of the ring that every girl wants, and think about what Caitlin would want,” she says sternly.

I sigh, she was right. If I wanted Caitlin to actually wear the ring, it had to be one that wouldn’t get in her way. Not only did I feel like I didn’t have to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring, I felt that I couldn’t. I wanted to spoil her, to give her an over the top ring that would remind her and everyone else that she was mine, but she wouldn’t wear it. It would get in her way.

I look at all the sparkling jewelry for what seems like the billionth time. Scanning over ring after ring, trying to find the right one.


“Yeah, Sid?” she says breaking her gaze from the jewelry.

I take a deep breath. I asked her to come with me to pick out a ring, because I knew she would know best… and I knew that if anyone knew what the answer would be, it would be Beth.

“Do you think she will say ‘yes’?” I ask quietly, searching her green eyes for truth.

“Honestly Sid, I’m not sure,” she replies, almost sadly.

I sigh, breaking eye contact and looking back at the rings. I was so afraid she would still say no. I wasn’t sure if she completely trusted me yet, but I hoped that she did.

I feel Beth touch my forearm gently,

“But I do know that someday she will say yes. Sid, she is so in love with you and she knows that she needs you, and I think that scares her. But she’s not going to run again. She’s always been afraid of a forever commitment, and let’s face it. Forever, is a damned long time,” she grins at me, “But Sid, someday… it could be tomorrow or in a year… but someday, she will say yes.”

I smirk and nod, looking back down when one catches my eye.

“What about that one?” I ask pointing out the wedding ring.

It wasn’t an engagement ring, so to speak, it was meant to go along with a solitary diamond ring. But it was one that she would wear. One that she wouldn’t take off. The ring was perfect, and I knew it even before Beth gasped.

“Sid, it’s perfect!”

Caitlin’s POV

“Hey guys,” I hear him greet the dogs at the door, making me crane my head back from the crossword I was doing.

“Hey! Where have you been? It’s almost time for your nap,” I ask curiously.

“I had some interviews and stuff,” he sighs, coming over to kiss my lips before sinking down in the lazy boy, being that I was taking up the entire couch with Hawkeye.

“What are you doing?” he asks curiously.

“Crossword puzzle,” I grumble, as Joshua Radin sings in the background.

“Since when do you do those?” he says taken back.

“Since I’m bored out of my fucking mind! I can’t do anything else without getting tired,” I snap.

“Aww, babe, she’ll be here soon,” he smiles cautiously.

He had been the brunt of my cranky mood for a while now. I felt bad, but on the other hand, it was partly his fault that I was like this.

“Well, why not now?! I’m sick of being pregnant. My back hurts, and my feet hurt, and I’m tired, and I want a beer!”

“I know babe, I know,” he sighs, “Why don’t you come take a nap with me.”

I sigh. Sure I was nervous about giving birth and wasn’t looking forward to the pain factor AT ALL, but I had been craving a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and I wasn’t allowed to have bread! I tried to convince Sid bagels weren’t bread they were bagels, but he wouldn’t listen. I was ready to be a mom!

“Ok,” I grumble, accepting his hands as he helps me hoist myself off the couch and walk up the stairs. “Do you know how many times I’ve peed today?! A LOT!”

* * * *

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the game?” He asks, tying his tie and looking back at me through the mirror.

“No, I’m exhausted and I don’t think I would be able to handle those stairs too well. Beth is gonna come over and we’re just going to watch here,” I shake my head with a sigh.

“Alright,” he nods.

“I really want to though,” I pout, “Your daughter just wears me out.”

He snickers and comes over to the bed where I’m sitting.

“I love you,” he smiles at me before kissing me sweetly.

“I love you, too,” I smile, “Now help me up, please.”

He laughs lightly and helps me off the bed so that I can go downstairs and let the dogs out. I let them all out, but Finn refuses to go out, and instead follows me into the kitchen where I make popcorn.

“Alright, I’ve got to get to the rink,” Sid says coming down the stairs and fixing his sports coat across his broad shoulders.

“Stop Hulk, you keep doing that and you’re going to burst the seams,” I say with a smirk, going up to him to fix his collar and smooth the shoulders of his coat.

“Like what you see Miss Shaw?” he smirks, as my hands come to the back of his neck.

I look up at him, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief as his lips move into a lazy smirk.

“Eh, not bad,” I shrug, biting my lip to hold back my grin before pulling his neck down to attach my lips to his. I wasn’t able to come up on my toes anymore.

“You sure you’ll be ok?” he asks, looking worriedly in my eyes.

“Yes, Beth will be here,” I smile, “I know this will be hard for you, but try not to think about it ok? I want you to focus on the game. You’re not going to miss anything. I will cross my legs if it means waiting for you to get there.”

He chuckles before kissing my forehead.

“I’ll try.”

“Thank you, cause I’ve been told that doesn’t work,” I smile, leaning back against the counter. He kisses me one last time before he makes his way to the door.

“Go kick some ass, Crosby!” I shout as he walks out the door. I hear his laugher echo down the hallway before he closes the door.

“UGH I have to pee AGAIN!” I shout to no one in particular.

* * * *


“Hey! In the living room!” I call back.

“Hey, Momma, how’s baby?” Beth grins at me, coming into the living room followed by Koda.

“She won’t come out,” I pout at her, "Hi, Koda!" I smile petting the furry white dog.

“Aww, honey. I know how you feel, but she will eventually,” she smiles knowingly at me, “How’s Daddy handling everything?”

“He’s worried about it, more worried and anxious than he’s trying to let on. He’s afraid he’s going to miss the birth.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Yeah, but it’s playoffs and he can’t focus on the game like he usually does.”

“Well, life will all turn upside down soon enough,” she smiles before handing me a colorful plastic bag.

“Jelly beans?”

“They’re not bread!” she smiles plopping down next to me.

I laugh and turn on the TV, turning it to the FSN just in time to see Chris Kunitz doing a pregame interview on the ice with Dan Potash.

“YES!” I yell throwing my arms up in celebration as Kris almost tackles Sid in celebration of the beautiful goal he had scored. The score was now 1-0 Pens, with 8 to go in the first.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain shoot up my abdomen and all through my lower back. I wince before I feel another pain shoot through. I let out a deep breath. 2 minutes left in the period.

We go into the intermission, Dan Potash interviewing Sid as another sharp pain shoots through me, making me miss him talking about his goal.


“Yeah?” she says looking over to me.

“It’s time. You need to take me to the hospital,” I wince.

Her eyes go wide before she shoots off the couch.

“Ok… ok…"

“My bag in the closet,” I say beginning to get up, Finn standing next to me protectively as the other dogs watch nearby.

Here we go!

Sid’s POV

‘Alright, focus. Focus on the game. She’s fine, the baby’s fine. Focus on the game,’ I think waiting to walk down the tunnel and hop on the ice along with everyone else. I begin walking down, after Max and Marc have finished their fight, bringing up the rear.

“Come on boys,” I yell out, along with the other shouts, trying to pump everyone up as the Consol Energy Center rumbles with the noise of the crowd. The line begins to move and my mind begins to go to the ice. The feel of the puck on my stick, the intensity of playoffs, hard checks... fight hard, score big…

“Sid!” I hear Dana Heinze call, as he comes running out of the locker room, “You’ve got somewhere else to be. Caitlin called, she said ‘it’s time’”

I fell my jaw drop along with my stomach, my breath is sucked out of me, and my skin immediately pales as I’m hit with a wave of nausea. It’s time!

December 02, 2010 at Thursday, December 02, 2010 , 9 Comments

Chapter 85: Stay

“I’m back!” I hear his voice call from the door. I walk out of the kitchen, and to the door to greet him as he takes his coat off, two bags in hand. The dogs were outside at the moment so they had already greeted him, but Maggie stood by the door with her ears perked up wanting to be let in.

“Hey,” I smile, putting my hands on his chest and leaning into him to kiss him, “I’m pretty sure I just fell in love with you all over again,” I say reaching for the two bags.

“Hold on… This is your last one for the next few days ok? And no more footlong ones like you were sneaking before, just six inch, Dr. Henderson said to watch your bread intake,” he says keeping them out of my reach.

“I know, I know…” I sigh reaching for it again, but he pulls it away quickly.

“And I would just like you to know that the guy was already making the sub when I got in there. He said he saw the car and knew what to do, this is slightly worrisome,” he chuckles.

“But I don’t order them THAT often!” I stress, “Was it Dennis? He knows how to make the sandwich perfectly!”

“Yeah, just 4 times in the past 6 days,” he laughs, “And yes it was, he said to tell you hi and see you soon.”

“Hey, it could be six!” I defend quickly, trying for the bags again.

“One more thing,” he says pulling it away, to which I let out an annoyed huff, “I’m sure if you look on the blogs and chat rooms tonight, you will see a picture of me with a few female fans holding a plastic bag with ONE mango in. All for you.”

“And her,” I smile, placing my hand on my 7 month pregnant stomach.

“And her,” he smiles, bringing his lips down to me meet mine in a tender kiss. I kiss back for a moment, loving his scent in my nose and his pillowy lips next to mine, his hand cupping my neck. He pulls away, and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Mine!” I say quickly, jerking the bags out of his hand before he can think and walking to the kitchen, leaving him chuckling at the doorway.

“Hold up, mine is in there too!” He calls.

We still had yet to come up with a name for our daughter. We had highlighted a few in the baby name dictionary, but still had yet to make a decision. The press conference had gone well, the response was... to be expected. Chat rooms and the notorious “Girlfriend” discussion page had had a field day. I was called a whore, a slut, a raging bitch (don’t know where that one even came from). There were rumors that it wasn’t really Sid’s baby. Some said it was Fleury’s and it was a cover up for our affair, poor Flower had undergone some serious beaking in the locker room for that one and it was still an ongoing joke between me and Laura Fleury.

Another said that my daughter was actually Kris’s child, because according to a “reliable source” I had left Sid for Kris and found his paycheck could not cover my expenses…. Whatever the hell that meant. But the funniest was that I wasn’t really pregnant. I almost peed from laughing so hard when I heard that one.

However, it was finally starting to settle down. The announcers on Versus had gotten down to a 2 time maximum of saying Sid was going to be a father and my picture was generally splashed on the TV screen when I went to games, like they were monitoring my progress.

Beth and Anna had worked along with Laura Fleury and Sarah Armstrong to plan a surprise baby shower for me last week. It was a blast, involving delicious cake and a diaper-changing race… I lost. Sarah and Colby had given me a Penguins maternity shirt that said “Rookie” on it. And when Sid had the unfortunate luck of coming home too early to find the party still going on, he and I were pushed together into a picture of me in the shirt. He literally laughed out loud when he saw me. But the picture was our first as a family he said, and he taped it up in his stall.

I look over to the man whom had been a relief through this all as he watched to movie. He had helped me through it all and made sure to constantly tell me that he wasn’t going anywhere. He was furious with the accusations that our daughter wasn’t really his child, but I tried my best to keep him calm and cool. He knew it wasn’t true, of course, but I think it still stung when people brought up me leaving, especially when they had no idea why I left. He made sure that he was at every baby doctor appointment and he tried to be there every moment he possibly could, saying that he had missed too much already. I tried to tell him all he missed was me puking every morning for a month, but he insisted. Right now he was getting worried that he wouldn’t be there for the birth, that he would be on the road and not get back in time. He had been taking into account every possibility, making sure that he would be there.

“Want a bite?” I ask, gesturing toward my sandwich as Braveheart plays on the TV. My feet were propped up on the coffee table as Sid sat next to me, eating a veggie sub from subway.

He looks over at me and wrinkles his nose, “I’ll pass.”

“It’s good!”

“Sorry babe, but a meatball sub with American Cheese and pickles is not in my healthy eating plan, nor appealing to my taste buds.”

“Suit yourself,” I shrug, taking a monstrous bite out of the sandwich.

Within minutes, the blessed sandwich is gone … and I could use another one.

I sigh, leaning against Sid, and looking up to the turkey sub he is eating.

“Nope, this is mine. You ate yours,” he replies, not even looking at me but keeping his eyes trained on the screen.

“Fine, I didn’t want a bite anyway,” I huff scrunching my face in annoyance… I watch as he chew and swallows before taking another bite. “Please just…”

“Nope,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“Sidney! You wouldn’t want your daughter to go hungry would you?” I ask in fake shock.

He lets out a hearty laugh, his arm coming around me to pull me closer into him before he polishes off the last bite of his sub. We still had yet to come up with a name for our daughter, but we still had two months. Man that due date was coming up soon.

“My daughter is NOT starving,” he chuckles.

“You calling me fat, Crosby?” I ask with a sly smile.

“Never, Dear,” he smiles down at me, those hazel eyes sparkling with humor before he places a simple kiss on my forehead.

“Bull shit,” I grin, before tilting my head up so that I can catch his lips with mine.

My hand comes up to his jaw, bringing him closer. He shifts on the couch, giving us a better angle to deepen the kiss. His tongue swipes over my lower lip slowly, before I let him in to have our tongues tangle together. His mouth moves away from mine, his lips trailing down my neck placing kisses in strategic places. It isn’t until he reaches the place where my shoulder and neck mesh together that his hot tongue sweeps over my skin and he bites down gently.

My breath immediately hitches as I inhale sharply, my fingers raking through his short hair in encouragement as my eyes close and my head involuntarily falls back to give him better access.

“Mmm… Sidney,” slips from my lips in a moan.

“Ruff… Ruff…”

I can feel the vibration of his laugh on my skin before he lifts his head to the sound.

“I think Flash is hungry,” he whispers.

I groan, before opening my eyes to Sid looking at me with a smirk. His hazel eyes seem to swarm with a liquid golden color. He knew exactly what to do to turn me on. He knew exactly where my weak spot was. I sigh, it was frightening how in love I was sometimes.

I shake my head with a sigh before turning my attention to Flash.

“Really? You are hungry, right now?” I ask him, to which his eyes light up and his head cocks to one side as he tries to figure out what I’m saying.

“Ruff…” he tries again, his ears perked up as he waits for my answer.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get you some dinner,” I laugh, ruffling his fur.

Sid’s POV

“No one will ever forget that night and what it meant for this country. But I will never forget the man and what he meant to me.”

I sigh and look at my watch, it was 12:30 and I have practice tomorrow at 9. I look over to her to tell her I have to leave but instead I find her already asleep. Her head was pillowed on her arm that rested on the couch armrest, and her legs were draped over my lap, her large stomach out in front of her as she slept on her side. I watch as a small smile plays on her lips, those chocolate eyes masked under lids fringed with dark lashes. I didn’t want to disturb her, but she need to sleep in a bed and I couldn’t exactly carry her up the stairs anymore.

“Caitlin. Babe, wake up,” I say softly reaching over to gently shake her shoulder.

She inhales and opens her eyes, blinking a few times before they focus on me. Her brow furrows as she tries to remember and then a lazy smile plays on her pink lips when I see the spark of her memory.

“Last time I check, Evy had just left V’s and was walking down the street,” she chuckles, stretching slightly, “What time is it?”

“About 12:30,” I respond, looking at my watch again.

She nods and uses the armrest to help push herself upright again. I stand up and offer my hand to her, knowing that getting up off the couch had become increasingly harder with her 7 months pregnant stomach. She sighs and takes it with a sheepish smile, knowing she was too tired to refuse. Letting out a sharp whistle, she makes her way over to the door, opening it so that the dogs can go out. A flood of fur whizzes by before she shuts the door behind them.

She walks back over to me and snuggles into my side with a content sigh. I just hold her next to me for a minute, taking in the silence of the house, the warmth of her body, and the smell of coconut in her hair. It was times like these I cherished, just her and I, after a night of movies. Not needing to talk constantly, but throwing around the playful banter we were so good at. Stealing kisses here and there, just being with each other, no obligations to worry about for awhile. It wouldn’t belong until there would be three of us, not just two anymore.

I sigh, going out into the brisk March weather was not really what I wanted to do at the moment, nor did I want to drive back to Mario’s. Someday, someday I won’t have to. It wouldn’t be long before it would be a blessing to just get some sleep, with playoffs and the baby on the way.

“I should go, I need to get back,” I sigh, hating doing so but knowing I had to, “I have practice at 9.”

She lets out a slight whimper mixed with a sigh into my shoulder. Not saying anything for a few moments.

“Or…” she replies quietly, “You could stay.”

I feel my stomach drop at her suggestion, having wanted nothing more for a long time. I look down to her with a small smile, trying not to get my hopes up. My eyes connect with molten dark chocolate eyes, looking up at me shyly.

“Are you sure?”

She nods her head with a small shy smile, “Stay with me.”

I grin; I having been wanting to hear her say that for months now. I bring my mouth down to hers, the two fitting together perfectly, like a puzzle piece.

November 10, 2010 at Wednesday, November 10, 2010 , 11 Comments

It's been WAY too long


Contrary to what it may seem, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I am still alive and kicking! ... just not writing like I would like too. I know that I haven’t been posting like I used to, but life has been a little crazy lately. I’ve been wanting to update both stories, especially Discovering… Love? being that it’s so close to the finishing line, but I just haven’t had time to sit down and write anything. Right now I’m a semester away from declaring my majors (yeah that’s plural, I’m crazy enough to do a double major) in school, so I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure that out. Add classes and work on to that and my time and motivation to write suffers. Right now I’m under the stress of searching for an apartment, but hopefully that will be over soon and I can write again. I love writing these stories and I hope you love reading them. If you do, I’m going to have to ask you… again (I know, I know I’ve asked this too many times) to please bear with me. I hope you will find that the chapters will be worth the wait!

By the way, Snapshot will probably be updated first, being that it hasn’t been updated in WAYYYY too long… not sure when … but hopefully soon.

Hang in there!

~ Aeryn

October 18, 2010 at Monday, October 18, 2010 , 5 Comments

Chapter 84: Out of the Abyss

I whimper slightly, pressing my face in to Finn’s coarse white fur. I was fighting back tears and feeling slightly nauseous. I was so overwhelmed with my nervousness and I know it wouldn’t go well. I just knew.

A few of the dogs bark excitedly looking out the window, their tails beginning to wag. Maggie’s tail wags the fastest before she looks back at me as if to say,

“He’s home!”

Suddenly, they rush to the front door as I straighten myself on the couch. I quickly try to calm myself down, trying to wipe away the tears that were on the verge of falling. I was excited that he was here, but dreading it at the same time. If he was home it meant that practice was over and we were going to meet his parents and Taylor for brunch. I hear him greet all the dogs at the door before he walks into the living room with a huge grin.

“Hey,” he says cheerfully coming over to me.

I smile weakly as he sits down on the couch next to me, kissing my cheek.

“Hi,” I manage to squeak out, but it comes out slightly cracked. I hold my breath hoping he won’t notice.

He pulls away slightly, a frown on his face as he looks at me worriedly, a wave of panic washing over his face.

“What’s wrong? Is the baby ok?”

“Yeah, the baby’s fine.”

“Then what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry,” he pushes, the panic was gone from his hazel eyes and now a worried look replaced it as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

Damned my big brown eyes, they gave away my emotions too easily sometimes. And with my hormones being all over the place, I couldn’t hide the emotion as well anymore.

“It’s nothing,” I sniff.

“Caitlin, what’s wrong?” he asks firmly, looking me in the eye.

“It’s just… I feel so overwhelmed. Your father hates me because I’m gonna make your life even harder because I’m huge and fat and pregnant,” I sniff the tears starting to fall, “as if you didn’t have enough on your place as is. Now you have to deal with me being pregnant and emotionally unstable. And he’s gonna think it’s all my fault and then he’s going to hate the baby because she and I ruined your life, “ I whimper.

“Oh babe,” he groans pulling me into him, my head tucking perfectly under his chin, “You didn’t ruin my life.”

“Yes, I did,” I whimper, “I kept pushing you away and now your stuck with me. I’m pathetic.”

“You are not. You are what I was missing in my life, you made it better. I still can’t believe that I got so lucky! And as for being stuck with you I’m glad I am, I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else,” he says softly into my hair.

“But your dad…”

“My dad is an ass sometimes. He doesn’t realize that I need more than hockey in my life. I didn’t realize it for a while, but after I met you I realized that there is more to life than playing hockey. You and the baby are what I want. How many times do I have to say that before you believe it? Caitlin, I love you. We’re going to be fine,” he says rubbing soothing circles on my back.

We sit in the silence for a little bit, and I replay the conversation we were just having. It wasn’t a new topic, I had been feeling 2 inches tall since I got to Pittsburgh and I’ve been running since Victoria strutting in after the game to tell me Sid had cheated on me. I had been and still was so emotional, so weak, so… so…. Not me! Where the hell did the strong woman go? Why did I feel like I had to be meek and hide from everyone? When and how did I get this way? This wasn’t me.

“Ugh! I hate this!” I groan loudly, pulling away from him.

“Hate what?” he says alarmed and confused.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, I love the baby and I love that I’m having your kid, but I HATE being this emotional! I don’t feel like myself. I feel girly and vulnerable and …”

“I kinda think that comes with the whole being pregnant thing, babe,” he smiles at me warmly.

“Well this part sucks! And I’m done! I’m done crying about nothing, I’m done worrying about what other people think. This is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I refuse to believe otherwise!” I say firmly, it was as if someone flipped a switch.

“I feel so insecure all the time, I have since Bran died and I’m sick of it! I’m not me! I’m becoming the person I told myself I would never be. How did I let this happen?” I ask exasperated, standing up. A very confused and shocked Sidney looked up at me as if trying to catch up with my total 180.

“Babe, you have been through a lot in the past couple months and Bran was so much a part of your life...”

“Yes, but he wouldn’t want this for me. I can’t train dogs like this. How can I help to control dogs if I can’t even control myself?! I have been hiding with my tail between my legs for too long. I’m done at being ashamed and scared. I want to be who I grew up to be. I want to feel like I used to feel, get out of this abyss of self-pity and doubt. I’m done hiding my pregnancy; I’m done wallowing around all day. I miss me, the real me. I felt like have just become so weak, running away from everything,” I say starting to calm down and settle back down, “I haven’t been the girl you met on the beach. The girl you lived next door to last year. I’ve been this meek, little girl and I’m sick of it! I’m done hiding and I’m done crying!”

I smile to myself; I could feel my old self seeping back in. The power of self-confidence rushing through my vein in an almost warming effect, like sitting in the sunlight. I could feel my old self returning. The girl who didn’t runaway, the one who stood her ground. The one who wore her scars proudly, the one who loved the way she look, no matter what everyone else said. I was a leader, the alpha of my pack. I was back.

All of a sudden I feel his lips crash down on mine in fiery passion. His hand coming up to the back of my neck and his fingers winding in my hair to push my lips against his. The uncontrolled and wild side of him coming out in the kiss as his mouth worked over mine. Teeth scrape and tongues tangle as we fight each other for control. It feels as though fire is burning in the pit of my stomach and an ache begins between my thighs as I slide my fingers up the back of his scalp. Someone lets out a low feral moan, but I’m not sure who, it could be the both of us. As he pushes me back into the cushions, he finds some control, pressing into me gently; probably afraid he will squish the baby, as his hand travels up my jean covered leg.

He pulls away breathing heavily, a grin plastered on his face as he stares into my eyes. His hazel eyes swarming with colors of green and gold. This is the first time we had lost control in awhile. The first time we had let out hormones take over in months and damn did it feel good.

“Welcome back, my little warrior,” he whispers against my neck; using the old nickname he had given me.

I pull away from him, throwing my head back and letting the laugh bubble up from inside me. My loud untamed laughter echoing through the living room.

“God, I love you,” I grin back at him, before connecting my mouth to his again. The passion no longer an untamed fire, but still a steady flame.

I walk down the steps in a pair of dark jeans and a silky olive green tank top that flowed perfectly over my stomach, almost completely concealing my new ‘outie’ belly button... almost. I put a dark blue cardigan sweater overtop that used to button up the front, but not anymore. My hair was down in slight waves and hit just above my shoulder, faming my face perfectly which was polished off with a tad bit of blush, mascara, and a subtle olivey green eyeshadow. Usually an occasion such as this warranted a cute pair of heels or at least high-heeled boots. But my shoes had seemingly been shrinking in size lately, limiting me to a pair of chocolate brown clogs. Plus all of my high heels were hidden away in the back of my closet for the next few months.

Sid looks up at me with a grin and the sparkle in his eye told me a sarcastic comment was headed my way.

“What?” I ask, putting a hand on my hip as I wait for him to reach me at the bottom of the steps.

“It’s just…” he sighs, shaking his head with a smirk, “Five and a half months pregnant and I still feel as though I have to bring a hockey stick with me to ward off guys that would gladly steal you away from me.”

“You're such a charmer, Crosby,” I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes, before leaning into him briefly and pressing a soft kiss to his pillowy lips.

“You ready to do this? To face the angry bull?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Hell, yeah,” I grin.

I felt sexy and confident in this outfit, and I was not going back to the place I had just escaped from. I was not going to let myself fall into the abyss again. No matter how scary the though of facing Troy Crosby was. I was pregnant, 22 weeks pregnant to be exact, and there was nothing Troy Crosby could do about it. I was going to be a mom, and I was excited as hell. If he didn’t want to be a grandfather than tough shit.

I giggle to myself at my last comment, but my mind had to be set like this or I would never survive.

“Let’s go get ‘em Tiger,” I purr, linking my arm in Sid’s as I press against him slightly.

He let’s out a chuckle, before pressing a kiss to my temple, “I’m so glad you’re back, babe.”

“OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK ADORABLE!” Natalie Lemieux and Trina Crosby seem to squeal at the same time as Sid and I walk out of their house and onto their back patio.

They both quickly rise and come rushing toward me, I bite my lip trying to hold back a smile, but give up and let myself giggle as they each give me a hug and turn to Sid and give him a hug.

“Well, thank you,” I smile.

“Ok now, let us look at you…” Nat says.

I laugh and smooth my shirt and clasp my hands underneath of my stomach so that my obvious pregnancy is even more obvious.

“Now to the side,” Trina smiles.

I laugh and do as I’m told so that they can take in my profile.

They begin the chatter about shopping for baby clothes and names and all of that stuff as Sid and I approach the table where Mario sits smiling at us and Troy Crosby looks less than thrilled.

“Well, well, well, isn’t someone glowing,” Mario smiles getting up and giving me a hug.

“Thanks,” I smile.

“I was talking about Sid,” he smiles down at me mischief dancing in his blue eyes.

I let out a loud laugh, “Oh, my mistake.”

“Caitlin you look amazing, I hear it’s a girl,” he smiles.

“Yup!” I respond enthusiastically.


“Nope!” I respond in the same way.

He lets out a loud laugh and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“You have time, you have time.”

“So I’ve heard,” I sigh, sending a wink Sid’s way.

Sid pulls my chair out for me allowing me to sit down at the table as the others follow suit. He goes to push my chair in for me but I quickly swat his hands away, he just lets out a chuckle and takes the seat next to me. When I said I was back, I meant it.

The women chatter to each other as Sid and Mario talk about some new banner they were hanging up in the Consol Energy Center. Meanwhile, Troy Crosby and I have a staring contest. His face is almost unreadable, as his eyes dare me to think of something to say and break the ice. I smirk and take the challenge.

“So… Troy…” I begin purposefully using his first name, like he had told me to the last time I saw him, “Excited to be a grandfather?”

The chatter quickly dies out as they all hold their breath for the answer. Sid especially, seems to be preparing for the worse.

Troy Crosby looks at me evenly, I can tell choosing his words wisely before he speaks,

“Not particularly thrilled that it is happening so soon,” he says slowly.

“But it is,” I state bluntly, to which Sid puts a hand on my knee under the table.

I see the muscle in Troy’s jaw flinch as he looks around the table. He wouldn’t dare say what was on his mind so long as Sid was here to stand up for me and the baby or Mario was here to keep him calm.

“Mr. Crosby,” I pipe up, reverting back to the formal, “I suggest we take a walk.”

Sid whips his head to look over at me in surprise, I’m pretty sure I’ve taken everyone aback by that statement, including Mr. Crosby. But he quickly recovers and nods, getting up from the table. I follow suit and excuse myself from the table.

Sid gets up and gently grasps my arm before I can walk away.

“What are you doing?” he whispers in my ear.

“Sid, I need to know, what he thinks. I need to be able to hear his opinion, no matter how much it might sting. And he isn’t going to be entirely truthful with all of these people here. Just trust me,” I whisper back, before pressing a kiss to his jaw and following Troy Crosby down the path and out into the street.

As soon as we’re on the street and out of earshot I speak up.

“Alright, now tell me what you really think.”

He chuckles and puts his hands in his pockets.

“Ahhh… what I think…” he sighs looking up at the sky, “Well… I think that this is a mistake.”

“How so?”

“I know the pregnancy is legitimate, in other words, I’m damned sure it is indeed my son’s child,” he begins, keeping his eyes trained on the road.


“It should have never happened. Not like this. Sidney was supposed to be married when he had children; he was supposed to ‘plan’ to have kids. Not like this. Not when his ‘girlfriend’ leaves him without so much as a word and then a few months later spills that she’s pregnant with their daughter,” his voice rising slightly.

“So is it me that you have a problem with? Was I not the plan?” I ask slowly, looking at him to set things straight.

He sighs before continuing slowly.

“No, you were not.”

No matter how much I have built up myself confidence today, no matter how much I was back to my old self. His answer stung. And how could it not? I was not part of the perfect plan for his son. The plan that, until I had come into the picture, was working out so perfectly. Youngest NHL Captain, youngest Captain to win the Stanley Cup, scoring the game winning goal to win the gold medal for Canada, being Canada’s golden boy, being the face of the NHL.

The stubborn, outspoken, average looking girl, from some little unknown town near Pittsburgh that trained dogs for a living was not in the plan. And why should it be? Everything in Sid’s life had been extraordinary, but I was just ordinary. I could blend into a crowd. I had a job that many looked down on, no matter how good I was at it. I wasn’t the trophy, blond hair, blue-eyed, hockey wife. I was the brown haired, brown-eyed, woman who cared just as much about her job as her partner. I was NOT part of the plan.

I take in a shaky breath, calming myself and reminding myself of my accomplishments. I could almost feel Bran next to me, pushing me away from the abyss I was teetering over.

“I see,” I say clearing my throat and speaking normally.

“Caitlin, you weren’t part of the plan, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You help keep him grounded. You remind him how important hockey is to him when he sees how important dogs are to you. I didn’t see it at first, but now I do,” he says slowly, looking over at me, “You are what he needs.”

I smile at him shyly at his proclamation; I had not been expecting to hear that. Not in a million years.

“But, under the circumstances, things have become a little … difficult,” he says slowly, “Because you were gone for awhile and then just show up again claiming to have Sid’s baby… it makes things complicated.”

“Well what do you want me to say? I got lost in the woods but I found my way back?” I ask, looking at him incredulously.

“I need you to marry him,” he says stopping to look at him.

I’m taken aback by his solution, and it takes me a minute to find my voice.

“Excuse me?”

“I need you two to get married, it would help with the media and his image.”

“Troy… you may be Sid’s father, but don’t make me punch you,” I say taking a step back.

“Caitlin, you have to be reasonable. You haven’t been together in months and now you just show up with this?” he gestures to my stomach.

“ 'This’ happens to be your granddaughter. And the answer is no,” I say turning to walk back to the house.

“Caitlin…” he says walking to catch up with me.

“No. If and when Sid and I get married, I’m NOT doing it to protect his image. When I was younger there are some things I said I would never do, but life has altered that. But marrying for love is one thing I’m sticking to. I won’t marry Sid just to help what I know is a media nightmare.”

“I thought you did love him.”

“I do,” I say firmly, looking him in the eye.

“Than I don’t see a problem,” he matter of factly.

“No. If I marry him, I need to be sure that I can do this forever, and right now, I can’t trust him with forever.”

“Well you two already have a child, that’s a life right there.”

“I said no. I need to be able to trust him,” I say before walking up the driveway to the house.

“How do we know if you’ll ever trust him, again?” he calls after me.

I stop and turn to face him.

“When I say, ‘Yes’.”

I watch from the back, a guy with a head set on and holding a clipboard stood beside me and some of the guys were in the back. I was tucked away unseen just like he wanted me, but still observing what was going on.

I bite my lip nervously as I watch him walk up the stairs to the stage where the table was. Cameras flashing, red lights blinking to begin recording, and papers russling as he takes his seat and they ready for what he has to say. A quiet murmur can be heard around the room, no doubt wondering what the press conference was about. He sat there in a dark charcoal sweater that was unzipped at his throat, his hair neatly pressed into a slight faux hawk (just as I said I like it). I let out a deep breath, that I realized I had been holding in. An arm drapes across my shoulder and pulls me into a rock hard body. I try to relax into him, but I can’t.

“It’s going to be ok,” Kris whispers in my ear.

“I hope so,” I whisper back

He clears his throat and I can see him figet with the water bottle cap. No one else might be able to tell, but I could. He wipes his palms on his jeans as all quiets down, he was nervous.

“Thank you all for being here today. I called this press conference because I wanted the truth to come from me and not to be leaked out and spread without warning. This was something I couldn’t hide, nor do I want to hide it. I was given the news a few months ago, and I think it’s time I shared it. This is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I would appreciate it if both myself and, especially, the people involved were treated with the utmost respect,” he speaks with his press like voice to the reporters, trying not to convey his nervous emotions.

“Caitlin Shaw and I, “ he states, quickly glancing over at me with a smile, “Are expecting a baby girl.”

September 15, 2010 at Wednesday, September 15, 2010 , 8 Comments

Chapter 83: A Sappy... Couple?

“Well?” I ask impatiently into the phone. We had been talking about this forever and we couldn’t agree on ANYTHING!

“I don’t know! This is difficult,” he sighs.

“It’s a very simple question. What do you want to name your daughter?”

“Simple question?! Please! How about this. What do you want to name your daughter?”

I let my head fall back against the pillow with a groan. How in God’s name did people name their children?! Naming dogs was one thing, but children had to stick with the name a lot longer. And unlike dogs, they would have an opinion about their name later in life.

“I don’t know”

“Not even one idea? You are a girl! You are suppose to have names picked out already and I have my veto card in my back pocket.”

“What does me being a girl have anything to do with this?”

“Well you named your dolls when you were little didn’t you?”

“I had a doll named Pebbles. Would you like to name our daughter Pebbles?” I ask, my voice dripping with sweet sarcasm.

“I had to fall in love with a tomboy…” he sighs sarcastically.

“Hmm… it does have a certain ring to it. Pebbles Crosby. Look out Apple Martin!” I laugh.

“… and a smart ass.”

“Sorry, didn’t you name… Oh, I don’t know your hockey pucks or something?” I mumble over my spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream.

“Oh yeah, I name all my hockey pucks and sticks,” he says (I swear I could hear him rolling his eyes), “I broke Phil the other day during the game, broke my heart. What are you eating?”

I quickly gulp down my ice cream and clear my throat, trying to get my voice back to normal.

“Nothing,” I say, cringing slightly when it still comes out a mumble.

“Ice cream or sherbet?” he sighs.

“Now I think our child will get teased with a name like that, even if her dad is Sidney Crosby, “ I respond.

“I’m going to say Ice Cream,” he sighs, “You know you have to watch what you eat.”

“I only had a little!”

“The last time you said that I came home and the whole half gallon was gone!”

“I told you we must have mice in the house.”

“That like to hang out in the freezer?”

“Yup. You probably brought them home from the rink, they’re rink mice. They’re used to the cold. That’s why they hang out in the freezer.”

“How do you even come up with this stuff? Your impossible,” he chuckles.

“-ly irresistible. I know,” I shrug, running my hands through Ty’s thick grayish brown fur, “When will you be home?”

“After the game tonight,” he says quietly.

“Oh, ok.”

“I’ll be home around 2am,” he replies.

I remain silent as my mind battles with it’s self. One half of me said ‘tell him to come over’ the other said, ‘be careful don’t move too fast.’ I wanted to have him next to me again, to feel warm and safe in his arms. But I didn’t want to move too fast. We were always moving too fast and look how that always turned out. It had been 6 years since we first met and fell in love at the beach. We had fallen in love in a week, head over heals, and it all crashed and burned. 4 years later we were together again. About a month into our 2nd chance we were moving in together. A few months later, it fell apart again. Now we were on our 3rd chance, a chance not many got, I didn’t want to screw it up again. I didn’t want to move to fast and have it all blow up in my face again. I couldn’t handle that, I couldn’t have my heart broken again. But boy did I want to wake up in his arms.

“Is it cool if I come over tomorrow morning?” he pipes up.

It was like he knew what I was thinking. We both had agreed to take it slower, but I think we were both realizing that that was easier said that done.

“Of course! After all it is your house.”

“But I don’t want to just barge in on your privacy.”

“Right, you wouldn’t want to see me with the pool boy.”

“We don’t have a pool. “

“Mmm… But the neighbors up the road do,” I say slyly.

“You better not be doing the pool boy,” he says lowly.

“Sidney Crosby! Get your mind out of the gutter, he just comes over for lunch,” I shout sarcastically.

I hear him laugh loudly on the other end, but it was slightly muffled indication that he had pulled away from the phone. I smile, I even missed the sound of his laugh, girly or not it was darn cute.

“I missed you,” he states simply.

“I missed you, too,” I smile back.

“My parents are going to get there tomorrow night and then we’re having brunch with them the next morning don’t forget,” he says reminding me.

“Oh, right,” I groan.

“It will be fine. Mom and Tay are both extremely excited, especially to see you.”

“And your Dad?”

“Well, we’ll work on him,” he sighs, “I better go.”

“Alright, go take your nap,” I laugh, “You do realize that the whole point of the this conversation was to come up with names and all we have is Pebbles and Ice Cream.”

“We’ll figure it out. We have time right?”

“Yeah, I suppose we do,” I sigh with a smile, my hand coming up to my swollen stomach. I couldn’t wait to see my daughter; it was just naming her that was the problem.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he sighs.

“Alright, go take your nap and then kick some ass, Crosby,” I smile.

“I will,” he says softly, pausing as if he wanted to say something.

I knew what it was. It had been a touchy subject, still, even if I had said it.

“I love you,” I say shyly, almost sure that that is what he was holding back on, but I wasn’t 100% sure.

I hear him sigh deeply, letting out a breath he had been holding it seemed.

“I love you too, babe,” he says softly, before we hang up the phone.

I bite my lip to hold back my grin as I place the phone on the bedside table. I felt the butterflies swarm through my stomach as I replayed those three words in my head. I snicker to myself as I run my fingers through Ty’s fur, I was acting like a high school girl who just found out her crush loved her back. Except it was far from a crush and the guy was Sidney Crosby.

“Ooof,” I breathe out as hand comes up to settle on my stomach where I had just felt a swift kick.

“Just wait until your father gets home, little girl,” I chuckle, knowing her father would be thrilled to know his daughter was kicking up a storm. And I would be thrilled to have her father home.

Sid’s POV

I find myself actually looking forward to going home again. I had someone to come home to, just like I had before. But now, there were two someones. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face and Coach let me out earlier than usual. Grinning when he told me to go home and take care of Mommy. It wouldn’t be long before I would hear the pitter patter of feet hitting the hard wood floors and a little girl’s voice saying “Daddy” when I came home from road trips. I could already picture it in my head.

Before my imagination can wonder, I’m home. I chuckle as I see a few dogs laying on the porch, their ears perking up when they see my car pull in the driveway behind her green jeep. After grabbing my bag out of the back, I make my way up to the house, being greeted by a Hawkeye, Ty, Finn, and Sam. Tanger had dropped him off while we were on our road trip.

“Hey boys,” I say running my head through the various furs before walking into the house.

As soon as I walk into the house I’m greeted by the sound of mellow music and the smell of chocolate chip cookies. I make my way into the kitchen, knowing that’s exactly where she is.

I walk in to see her wiggling her hips slightly to the beat of the music as she took cookies off the cookie sheet. She wasn’t one of those women that didn’t look at all pregnant from behind. She had definitely gained a few pounds, not that I minded at all. She could gain all the weight she wanted as long as the baby was ok and she did the actual pushing a human being out of her pelvis part. Man did I have it easy.

“Smells good in here.”

She stills for a second, before putting her oven mitts and spatula down. She whips around with a huge grin on her face.

“Hi!” she replies enthusiastically, before kissing my cheek and hugging me, “Good couple games there, Crosby. Seems like you suddenly snapped back into action according to the announcers. 4 goals in 3 games isn’t too shabby.”

“Thanks,” I say rolling my eyes, letting my arms settling down on her lower back, as I held her loosely against me. She bites her lip and smiles up at me, making it damned hard to resist her. It slowly dawns on me however, that I don’t need to hold back like I used to. I smirk and bring my lips down to hers in a soft kiss. I can feel her lips smile against mine as she returns the kiss, her arms settling around my neck.

I pull away slowly, and smile down at her, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she replies softly, “Oh God, we’ve become that sappy couple.”

I pause at her words, letting them roll around a bit. Should I say something? I didn’t want to ruin it.

“Couple?” I ask, hoping that I’m taking a step forward and not a step back.

Her eyes widen slightly as she replays her words in her head. Her lips press together and her eyes squint slightly as she thinks. Those big chocolately eyes look up at me and connect with my eyes, trying to read me.

“I don’t know,” she says slowly, struggling to verbalize what she is thinking, “I mean, you can’t really call us just friends, but …”

I press my lips against hers quickly, silencing the rest of her thoughts and words. To my surprise and delight she doesn’t pull away, we had made leaps and bounds since December, and it was only the beginning of February now.

“That’s all I wanted to know. Caitlin, I’m ready to go back to where we were. But I know that your not, just … let me know…” I say quietly, watching her as she diverts her gaze from mine.

She takes a deep breath before bringing her eyes up to mine, “I … not yet,” she replies sadly.

I smile weakly, knowing that she doesn’t trust me fully yet and it would be a long time before I got all her trust. We were getting closer to where we used to be, but we still… I still had work to do. Trust to build. But at the same time, we had been progressing, to “not just friends” anymore. She said so herself. And that thrilled me.

I suddenly feel something press against the back of my knee. I look back to see Maggie, with her ears perked up at me, wagging her tail hopefully.

“Hi, Maggie,” I smile turning around to greet her. Her response is to wag her tail faster before flopping on her back so that I can rub her tummy. “That’s my girl.”

“Just remember who’s carrying your baby there, Stud,” Caitlin laughs tapping me on the shoulder before going to finish the cookies she had baked.

Caitlin’s POV

I lie on the couch, my legs draped over his lap as we watched Pride and Prejudice. He agreed to watch as long as I didn’t tell the guys. I was so incredibly comfortable, my head pillowed on my arm as my other one rested on my stomach. My eyes were beginning to droop just as Elizabeth was reading Mr. Darcy’s letter, when suddenly I felt a sharp jab.

“Oooof,” I let out, putting my hand where I had just felt the movement.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Sid asks looking over at me suddenly very panicked.

I chuckle and grab his hand, placing it on the place where I last felt the jab. He becomes very still and I swear he is holding his breath. I feel a sharp jab again; right where his hand is, and then one right by his wrist. I watch as his a grin slowly spreads across his face. His hazel eyes leave his hand and meet mine, shining with a smile and surprise.

“I hate to break it to you, but I think your daughter is a soccer player,” I say softly with a smile.

He smirks before leaning down to press his lips to mine in a tender kiss, his hand staying on my stomach as our daughter delivers another kick to his palm. I inhale sharply.

“Ok, now your just showing off,” I mutter.

Sid lets out a laugh and moves his head down closer to my stomach.

“Hey in there, we have plenty of time to practice when you come out. Hockey is way better than soccer though. I’ll teach you how to skate and shoot a puck…” he says softly, talking to our daughter.

I smile as he continues on his conversation with her. She was going to have him wrapped around her little finger.

August 01, 2010 at Sunday, August 01, 2010 , 11 Comments

Chapter 82: Baby on Board

I’m on my way.

Alright, see you soon. Just wait out side the locker room door and I’ll come get you.

Will do, I text him back.

I had to tell him I was on my way, that way he could make sure the press was out of there. The last thing we needed was for a story to come out announcing that Sidney Crosby was going to be a father. We would wait for the Crosby’s to get here first.

I pull my green Wrangler into one of the parking spaces without a problem, I’m sure Sid had told all of security that I was coming.

I easily find my way through the arena and to the locker room, like I had countless times before. In front of the locker stands a man in a polo, with his arms crossed. I watch carefully before approaching as a reporter is shooed away. When I’m sure that the report has vamoosed, I walk over to the locker room. The big man turns to me with a frown that said he means business, but once he recognize he smiles kindly at me.

“Hey Tom,” I smile.

“Caitlin, it’s good to see you! Are you back?”

“Yeah, I’m back,” I can’t help but smile.

“Well, Mr. Crosby said he is expecting you, so just go ahead in,” he smiles opening the door for me.

“Thanks, Tom. See you later!” I smile walking through the open door.

I take a deep breath as I walk over to the lounge. The players were mostly still in the showers, and the few that weren’t in the main locker room must have been in the back sharpening skates and getting ready for the game tomorrow.

I sit down on one of the plush leather couches with a sigh, my back had begun to hurt recently with the extra weight I was carrying. Boy, were these couches ever comfortable. At the moment, my obvious bump was well concealed under my winter coat, but I had to shed the extra layer, it was stifling in here.

I watch NHL on the Fly on the TV in front of me, texting Sid my location. My knee bounces nervously and I crack my kuckles. I had no idea how the guys would react. I hoped they would be thrilled, but I had no idea. They could hate me for all I know. It was times like this I wish Bran were still here, sitting next to me and keeping me calm. I hear someone come in behind me and look up hoping it’s Sid. Instead, Coach Bylsma comes to a stop in the middle of the room smiling his crooked smile at me.

“Hey Caitlin. Looks like Sid wasn’t kidding,” he smiles warmly at me.

“Hey and no, no he wasn’t,” I chuckle my hand coming to rest on my rather large stomach.

“Well I have to go talk to someone really quickly, but I’m glad your back. That kid is actually smiling again, and his game has improved.”

“Haha, glad to help,” I laugh, “I’ll catch you later.”

“Congrats Caitlin,” he smiles before walking out of the room.

I hear someone come up behind me and I turn to see his hazel eyes smiling at me. He had a big grin on his face, I knew he was excited about today, he had practically been bursting at the seams not telling his teammates that he was going to be a father.

“Hey you two,” he says quietly, coming over to kiss my cheek and put a hand protectively on my stomach making me smile.

“Hey, good practice?”

“Yeah, good practice. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I sigh nervously.

“Alright, I’ll go get them,” he smiles, he was like a 5 year old, anxious to show his friends.

I sigh as he walks back through the door way and jump slightly when it opens again behind him. I tense, waiting for the wave of guys, but it never comes. In walks the man who had recently taken to being my best friend and my rock. Those broad shoulders were the best on the East Coast to catch tears.

“Hey Ace,” he smiles coming over to give me a hug.

“Hey, I missed you,” I smile hugging him back tightly.

“Back at you. Although I don’t think I missed you as much as Sid. Wow, that kid is growing like a weed in there, eh?” He laughs turning me around so that he can take in my profile.

“As is the mother,” I sigh.

“You look beautiful,” he smiles at me.

“So they tell me,” I smile weakly; I was feeling more insecure about how I looked.

“Because it’s true!” he says hugging me, “You are glowing.”

I smile up at him softly, silently thanking him as I hear the door open.

Sid walks in first to stand next me and Kris leans against the couch, watching with a grin.

“ACE!!!” I hear a few yell; Colby and Max make a run for me.

However, they come to a screeching halt as Sid steps in front of me, shielding me and the baby from anything he though would be detrimental, which was basically anything short of a pillow.

“WHOA! Slow it down guys, baby on board,” he grins holding out his hands.

“What?” I hear Colby ask confused.

I let out a slightly annoyed huff and push Sid out of the way, allowing them to see what he means. “Honestly I’m not that fragile.”

“Whoa!” I hear Max say, as the rest of the guys remain silent in their shock. I don’t remember the last time I had heard them so quiet, if I ever had.

“5 months, we’ll hopefully know the sex after today’s appointment, and yes it’s Sid’s,” I smile hitting most of the questions, before biting my lip nervously.

“Are you going to name it after me?” I hear Colby ask with a grin, being the first to wrap me up in a hug.

“We missed you Ace,” he whispers in my ear and it almost brings tears to my eyes, damn hormones. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks Colby.”

“But no more running away, got it! I don’t think the kid could handle that again,” he laughs pointing his thumb to Sid who rolls his eyes, but his cheeks slightly pinkening.

“Of course they’re not going to name it after you,” Max says smacking Colby on the back of the head as he comes over to give me a big hug, “She’s going to name it after Uncle Max!” He says pulling away and bending down to talk to my stomach, “Hey in there, little Max! Do you think he will look like me?” He asks looking up at me.

“God I missed you,” I laugh loudly, pulling him into another hug.

“Aww, come here Siddy Poo, you’re going to be a daddy! I hope you understand that your kid is going to love me more than you,” Colby says pulling Sid into a hug as Sid desperately tries to get away.

All the guys give me a hug and give Sid one of those manly thumps on the back or a firm handshake congratulating him. After, we all sit down in the couches and around the lounge chattering about the next poker tournament at my house and how it wasn’t fair because I had my own portable snack shelf. I laugh along with the boys but I can’t help but notice one of them is missing. The one I was looking most forward to seeing. I let out a sigh as the door opens again, almost 10 minutes after my ‘unveiling.’ In walks a tall blond man, his blue eyes catching mine as he smiles at me almost shyly. I grin and get up off the couch, swatting away Colby’s hand as he tries to help me up. I quickly cross the room over to him. His eyes widen when he takes in my full appearance, but I don’t give him the chance to question me as I wrap myself around him in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry I missed everything, Papa Staal,” I murmur against his chest.

He doesn’t respond at first and I can tell he is very uptight, but after a moment he let’s out a sigh and hugs me back tightly.

“It’s ok,” he murmurs into my hair, “But I think you are going to have to catch me up a bit, I would have been here sooner but SOMEBODY FILLED MY SHOES WITH BABY POWDER!”

I giggle as all of the guys look up innocently at him; the most innocently looks coming from Flower and Army.

“So tell me, how’s the littlest Staal?” I ask with a grin.

He grins back and pulls me into the locker room to his stall. He points to a picture of Anna holding a baby with blond hair and bright blue eyes.

“Wow, does he ever look like his daddy!” I grin looking up to the man with the matching blond hair and blue eyes, “What’s his name?”

“Shawn Nicholas Staal. We spell it S-h-a-w-n,” he adds for clarification, smiling at me.

I look up to him surprise, was he implying what I thought he was?

“Why did you spell it that way?” I ask cautiously.

“Well we couldn’t name him Caitlin, I’m pretty sure he would be teased for having a girl’s name,” he smiles down at me.

I feel the tears welling up again and hug him tightly.

“Jordan, I …” I say speechless, “Thank you.”

“Ace, if it weren’t for you. I’m not sure what would have happened. I might not have had the chance to be with Anna and my son. So thank you,” he whispers back, “Hey now, what’s with the tears? You’re not going soft on me are you?”

“I can’t help it, ok. It doesn’t take much to get the tears flowing these days,” I chuckle gesturing down to my stomach.

“Yeah, let’s talk about that shall we?” he smiles, pulling me down so that I sit next to him, “It’s Sid’s I assume.”

“Yeah, Sid’s the father,” I smirk, “I’m 5 months pregnant.”

“Do you know the sex yet?”

“No, we go to the doctor’s today and hopefully we’ll find out.”

“Congrats Ace. This is awesome, now there is another new parent on the team! Maybe it will take some heat off me.”

“Aww, Jordan, are they teasing you again?” I laugh.

“It wasn’t a coincidence that they put Baby Powder in my shoes today,” he says rolling his eyes.

I laugh as I hear the door open and Sid peeks in. “Are you about ready to go?” he asks.

I look down at my watch and realize that we have to be at the doctor’s in 20 minutes.

“Oh! Yeah, let’s go!” I say getting up and walking back into the lounge, Jordan following behind me.

“See you later boys,” I call, grabbing my coat from the back of the couch and putting it on.

“See ya Caitlin,” they call back, I smile everything was getting back to being good again. Max Talbot is twirling a silver key on his finger with a cocky grin. I put my hand in my jacket pocket and feel only one key on my key chain instead of two.

I shake my head and tell Sid I will meet him outside. He nods in confusion and heads out he door. I walk up to Max and stop in front of him. The room goes silent waiting for what I have to say.

“Just let the dogs out when you get there and don’t you dare wave a beer in front of my face because I can and will take you down,” I glare at him with a grin, “Oh, and I plan on kicking ass in poker, so be prepared!”

All the guys cheer and Max just smiles down at me, “See ya soon, Ace.”

I chuckle and head out the door to meet Sid.

* * * *

“Ready?” I smile over to him in the passenger’s seat. He had been looking slightly nervous, which I guess was understandable, being that it would be the first baby appointment he’s attended. He was also nervous that this would put the word out there that he was going to be a father, before talking to his dad and agent about it. Me? I was just excited to see my baby again and hoped that he or she would be willing to show Mom and Dad if he was a she or she was a he.

“Come on, let’s go!” I say getting out of the car.

I walk in through the front door while Sid goes around to the back. I tell the nurse at the counter that I’m here for my appointment… and that the father needed to be let in, he was around back.

She looks at me confused for a moment, looking back down at the clipboard before her eyes widen in understanding. I chuckle to myself before she quickly leads me to one of the ultrasound rooms. She closes the door behind me with a nervous, “I’ll be right back,” before heading out again.

I look around the clean room with a sigh as I wait, taking in the machinery and posters adorning the walls of baby growth charts. The door opens to reveal an older woman in her 50s dressed in a white lab coat and a stethoscope hanging from her neck. She had short peppered hair and glasses, lines around her mouth and eyes told me she smiled a lot and I almost immediately warmed up to her.

“Hello you must be Ms. Shaw?” she asks looking at her clipboard before sticking her hand out for me to shake.

“Please, it’s Caitlin,” I smile warmly, shaking her hand.

“Well then Caitlin, I’m Dr. Henderson and by the looks of things you are ready to see your baby,” she smiles looking at the clipboard once more.

“Yes I am,” I grin.

“Alright, in good time my dear, if you could lay back though. Now you don’t need to have any blood taken this week, but you will at your next visit, just to make sure your blood sugar is all right at that time. All the tests that were sent in from your last doctor are great; you are coming along very well at 21 weeks. All your blood tests are good. Have you been feeling nauseous at all?” She asks as I pull up my shirt and zip down my jeans to expose my swollen abdomen. She measures my bump and pokes around a bit. I was told that this would be happening at every visit now.

“No, not really anymore. But I have been having a little back pain,” I say trying not to leave anything out.

“Sharp pains or achy?”


“Yes, that’s going to keep up I’m afraid. Have you felt any movement at all?” she asks checking my blood pressure.

At that moment there is a knock on the door and Sid steps into the room accompanied by the wide-eyed nurse I saw at the front desk.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Crosby, come on in,” Dr. Henderson smiles, glancing up quickly from her watch as her finger lies gently on my wrist taking my pulse. “I was just telling Caitlin that everything looks good. Both baby and mom are healthy. So, if you want we can start the sonogram.”

I nod my head eagerly as I bite my lip, trying to hold back my grin. I look up to Sid, who is already looking down at me with a smirk. He comes to stand beside me, switching places with Dr. Henderson. Just feeling his presence next to me helps me to relax and at the same time excites me more. He smiles down at me before reaching down to lace his fingers with mine.

Dr. Henderson smears a clear goop on my ever-expanding stomach I flinch at its coldness. She turns on the machine and presses the wand-like part on my stomach in the goop. We both look to the monitor as we hear a whirling like sound.

“That’s your baby's heart beat. It’s strong that’s good. And there you can see it’s head, its heart…” she says pointing things out on the screen as my grin grows wider and I feel Sid squeeze my hand, “Would you like to know the sex?”

“Yes!” Sid and I say enthusiastically at the same time. We both look at each other and let out a chuckle.

“Well, ok then,” Dr. Henderson laughs, “It looks like your baby is cooperating and will to show us.”

“Unlike my last appointment,” I laugh, remembering the baby not at all cooperating like I had hoped.

“Well, according to these three little lines here, it looks like you are having a girl,” she smiles over at us, “Congratulations!”

I look over to Sid who has a huge grin on his face, one that matches mine. A girl, I’m having a girl!

Dr. Henderson continues on about some things, including telling Sid to not give into my cravings because everything that I could be craving could not be good for the baby. After wiping off the goo on my stomach, she gives us some last advice saying that she will see me in two weeks.

I finish buttoning my jeans and look up at Sid, he was looking out the window with a frown.

“Sid? What’s wrong?”

“It’s just… we’re having a girl,” he sighs.

I was taken aback by his statement, he had been grinning just as widely as I was a few minutes ago.

“You wanted a boy?” I ask, slowly. I guess I understood that, carrying on the Crosby bloodline, have him grow up playing hockey like his dad, maybe be better in the NHL. A girl couldn’t be drafted into the NHL.

“No, no. I didn’t have a preference, I just want it… her to be healthy,” he smiles at me.

“Then what’s wrong?” I ask confused. Was it me?

“Well, if it’s a girl and if she looks anything like her mother, the guys will be all over her,” he frowns.

I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh at his statement.

“Sid, please if she is anything like me, she won’t have any trouble keeping those guys at bay,” I smile.

He chuckles and steps closer to me, resting his head against my forehead and putting his hand on my stomach. He smirks, looking down at my stomach before looking back up into my eyes. His eyes were a golden hazel when his smile reached them.

“We’re having a baby girl,” he whispers.

I can feel the tears welling up at the emotion that was going through my body. This was the tender moment that I had dreamed of, and it made me melt hearing him say those words. Right now, I was unspeakably happy. I smile and nod, unable to find the words. Him saying those words, it felt real. It felt like he was finally in this. I wasn’t going to do this alone; my daughter would have her father who already loved her. It was an almost overwhelming feeling. He would be there with me, watching as our daughter grew up. It was like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I could count on him.

“Sidney?” I say quietly, still gazing into his golden eyes.


“I love you too,” I whisper, finally saying the words that I had felt for long, long time. The words that I never stopped feeling, but couldn’t say after I left. The words that he had said to me the day after Christmas but that I couldn’t return.

He looks at me, his eyes shining a smile gracing his lips. One of his hands comes up to cup my jaw, his thumb lightly brushing over my jawbone. He gaze shifted down before his eyes were up at mine again. The touch, the look, it was the same as it was when we were together, it was the same under the mistletoe a year ago, it was the same at the beach 5 years ago. It was so familiar, but the butterflies still stormed my stomach. My eyes flutter shut as his lips touch mine ever so softly, but making it feel as though an electric current has just gone through me. He pulls away for only a moment before his lips are on mine again. I lean into his touch, my arms finding their way around his neck, my fingers finding his soft short hair. I sigh into the kiss as I kiss him back, wanting nothing more than for this moment to last forever. I knew this kiss wouldn't fix everything, but it was part of the building blocks. It didn't mean Sid and I were taking the next flight to Vegas to elope. It was part of a new beginning, one that would was gentle and soft and patient, not rushing anything. It held a promise and a hope that there would one day be more between the two of us, maybe not today, but one day soon.

After a few minutes he breaks away slowly, panting ever so softly as I am. He kisses my forehead softly, letting the kiss linger before pulling me gently into a tight hug, his head finding the nook where my neck and shoulder connect. It felt right. It felt like everything was falling back in place and it felt incredible to be in his arms again after sharing the most tender kiss I had ever received.

“Let’s go home,” he says softly into my neck.

June 20, 2010 at Sunday, June 20, 2010 , 10 Comments

Chapter 81: It Seems Right

Thank you for all of the wonderful comments! They really brighten my day and they just increase my love for this story, because you readers seem to like this story too. So thank you! This chapter is a bit of a filler, but it’s one of those chapters that need to happen in the story. I sat down last night and planned the rest of the story out (only 6 more chapters and an epilogue!). I’m going to apologize now because the story is going to be very fast paced coming up. There will be quite a bit of jumping around so that I can fit every thing in, but hopefully you will like the way everything turns out. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the last chapters!

~ Aeryn

“Alright, let’s do this,” I tell myself quietly, “1…2...3! Push!”

I push, using my legs to anchor me down and I use as much of my weight to push and as little muscle as possible. It budges but only a few inches to the left. I stand back; it didn’t look good there. So far it looked best where it was in the first place against the stairs. I huff in frustration. And use my weight to push against the arm of the couch, pushing it across the hard wood floor.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I hear him shout, “You’re not suppose to move anything. Think about…”

“…The baby. I know. I was just using my weight and leaning against it. It’s fine,” I sigh frustrated, pushing my now shorter hair out of my face. It was getting too long falling halfway down my back. Now it was just touching my collar bone. It cut my shower time half and it was much less of a hassle.

“Why didn’t you just call for me?”

“I’m pregnant not wheel chair bound, Sidney.”

“And too goddamned stubborn for your own good,” he smirks, “Now, where did you want to move the couch?”

“Back to where it was in the first place. It looked best there.”

“I told you that,” he sighs, before pushing the couch back in place.

“I know, but I just wanted to make sure.”

Sid and I had talked after I had left Tanger’s house around Christmas, like I promised we would. Somehow he convinced me to move into his house, the one that was across from my old one, and he would put all of his stuff in storage and stay in Mario’s house for a while. Apparently he had been staying there since we had broken up. He didn’t have to push too hard, but I was still hesitant. He had come home late last night from a game in Buffalo and had a game in three days. After that the team was hitting the road for a 3 game streak. We had a baby doctor’s appointment at my new OB GYN that the one in Utah I had been going to recommended in two days. We would hopefully be able to learn the sex of the baby then. Which we were both extremely excited about.

But tonight, before we ordered the Chinese food I had been craving (Sid didn’t know about that part yet) we were going to call his parents and tell them. To say I was nervous was an understatement. We had wanted to tell them in person, but they couldn’t make it down until next week. Plus we wanted them to know before the rest of the team and the whole world. Sure we wanted to wait, but I really wanted to see my friends again and I was blatantly pregnant. We though the Grandparents should know before the rest of the world.

“Ok how’s that?”

I stand and look around; it looked strikingly similar to the lay out at the house across from us. I like it.

“Good! And you put the bed together?”


“Great! Dog beds?”

“All laid out in the den.”

“Fantastic! Should we do the deed then? Before ordering Chinese for dinner?” I sigh, sitting down on the couch.

“Yeah, we should… We’re ordering Chinese?” he asks flopping down next to me.

“Yup! Chicken and broccoli with fried rice and raspberry sherbet.” I nod.

“Raspberry sherbet?”

“Hey, don’t ask me!” I retort, pointing to my belly, “He or she asks and I eat.”

He just grins at me, placing his hand on my even more swollen stomach. When I had first arrived, he had this HUGE dopey smile on his face when he saw that I was now very pregnant at almost 21 weeks. I had passed my halfway point and the baby was definitely in there. There was no hiding it. And the baby was by no means quiet either; he or she loved to kick. I swear he or she was going to be a soccer player, you’d think it was David Beckham’s kid. Sid had yet to feel the fluttery movements.

“Should we do it now?” he asks me, after we had both been sitting there for at least 10 minutes, all the dogs had since curled up in their usual places.

I sigh. I was really dreading this.


He gets up and walks into the kitchen to retrieve the phone. He takes a deep breath hitting the first number.


“What?!” he says, slightly panicking at my sudden outburst.

“We should order Chinese first. It takes 30 minutes at least.”

He just laughs and continues dialing his parents’ number.


Sid’s POV

“Mom, hi! Are you busy?”

“No, what’s up? Is everything alright?”

“Umm… yeah, everything is great actually. Is Dad home?”

“Yeah, hold on I’ll get him for you.”

“Wait, mom, just tell him to get the other line. I … we… have something to tell you,” I say into the speakerphone. I look to her; she gives me a nervous look as she nibbles on her bottom lip.


“Yeah, Caitlin and I,” I smile, giving Caitlin’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hi, Trina,” she says, finally piping up.

“Caitlin! I didn’t know you were back in Pittsburgh!” Mom says surprised.

“Yeah, I just moved back.”

“Does this mean you two are together again?”

“Mom, would you just please go get Dad?” I chuckle; leave it to my mom to get ahead of herself.

“Oh, alright, hold on,” she sighs, “TROY! SIDNEY IS ON THE PHONE HE WANTS TO TALK TO US!”

I chuckle as I hear his muffle yell back to her.


“Hey Dad, Mom are you there too?” I ask.

“Yes honey I’m here.”

“Ok, like I said Caitlin and I have something to tell you…”

“Caitlin’s back?” my dad asks surprised.

“Hey, Mr. Crosby,” she says meekly.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were back in Pittsburgh,” he says with almost no emotion in his voice. Making me wonder if we should tell them, which of course we should but now I was a tad more nervous.

“I just recently moved back,” she sighs.

“That’s what we needed to talk to you about,” I say before anyone else can add anything just yet, “Caitlin… well, I asked her to move back and she is living at my place now.”

“Are you two back together?” Dad asks darkly.

“No, not yet,” I sigh.

“We’re just friends,” Caitlin says, sending a look my way that told me I probably should have left the ‘not yet’ part out.

“But you’re living together.” My mom says, confused.

“Well, not exactly. I’m staying at Mario’s like I have been for the past couple months.”

“Not exactly? Caitlin are you looking for a place?” Dad asks.

“I… well…” she answers, looking up at me for help.

I sigh, and nod my head. I should just tell them.

“Mom, Dad, Caitlin is pregnant,” I kind of just blurt out. I look over to Caitlin who is holding her breath waiting for a response, and I find that I’m doing the same.

There is just silence on the other end.

“And, I’m the father,” I add after a few minutes, for the sake of clarification. To which Caitlin gives me a look that clearly says “duh.”

“But, she has been gone since October…” my father says, clearly confused and stunned, “Are you sure it’s yours?”

“Dad…” I find myself growling, to which Caitlin puts a hand on my arm. The warmth of her hand was gentle and made me calm, letting out a deep breath.

“I’m 5 months pregnant, Mr. Crosby. Almost to my 21 week,” she says speaking up, “that pins the conception time to right around the end of August…”

“Which is when I came back to Pittsburgh after the summer break,” I add, “The baby is mine.”

More silence.

“We wanted to tell you in person, but you said you can’t make it up until next week.”

“And I really can’t hid anything anymore,” Caitlin smirks, “I want to see everybody, and if I do that, they will know I’m pregnant, and be able to make a very accurate assumption of who the father is. But before we do that, we wanted you to know first.”

More silence.

“Mom? Dad? Could you please say something?” I sigh.

“I… I honestly don’t know what to say,” Dad says speaking up first, “Are you two going to get married?”

I hear Caitlin sigh heavily as she leans her head on the back of the couch. It was a kind of touchy subject.

“Uhmm… well… we haven’t really talked about that,” I say slowly, looking over at her with a guilty look. Trying to tell her I’m sorry without actually saying it.

She nods and sits up suddenly, putting her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone.

“I’m going outside with the dogs. I think, you three will get more talking done with me not sitting here,” she sighs.

I nod, she was right. We were all holding back. She slips on her boots and a jacket before whistling for the dogs and walking out the door.

“Look, I do want to marry her. But right now, that’s not an option. She just wants to be friends right now, and I have to accept that,” I say as soon as she closes the door.

“Sidney, you have to think about your reputation though,” Dad says his voice rising slightly.

“I know that Dad. It’s just…” I sigh, this was so damn complicated, “I hurt her, a lot and Bran just died too You know Caitlin, she’s all about trust, and right now, I screwed up. I want to be in my child’s life, and if that means just being friends with Caitlin at the moment, then that’s what I’ll do."

“But Sidney…” Mom pipes up.

“I know. But, right now, I’m just happy that she’s in Pittsburgh. I had to beg her to move back and she had to leave her dream job. She was willing to comeback because of the baby, and I have to prove that I can be there for her before we can move forward in our relationship.”

“How long have you known?” Dad adds in.

“She was home for Christmas and told me.”

“Who knows?” He was quick with the questions.

“Her family, one of her friends, Kris Letang, and I told Mario.”

“Don’t make any public announcements until I’m there. You and I will talk to Pat about this. See how we should handle the situation so that it does the least bit of damage to your profile,” Dad growls, “I’ll see you next week Sidney. Don’t do anything else stupid.”

I grit my teeth to keep from yelling back as he hangs up the phone.

“Sidney?” I hear Mom say quietly. “How do you feel about this? About being a father?”

I break out in a grin as I look out the window to see Caitlin laughing at something that one of the dogs had done, most likely Hawkeye.

“I don’t think words can describe, Mom. I’m nervous, but so excited. I can’t wait for you to see her, she just… she just seems to glow.”

“But you’re happy?” she asks.

“Yeah, yeah I really am Mom,” I smile, watching as she throws a snowball to Flash who catches it in mid air. “I know you are disappointed in me for not being more careful, but please don’t blame Caitlin. I’m just as responsible and if you’re going to be mad, be mad at me and not her or the baby…” I begin my worried rant, the last thing I wanted was for them to be mad at Caitlin or hold a grudge against the baby.

“Sidney, Caitlin makes you happy, and I don’t think I could have picked out anybody more perfect for you. Do I wish you were married first and the child was planned, yes I do. But Sidney, I don’t blame anyone,” she says, excitement in her voice unlike that of my dad’s.

“Thanks Mom,” I say with a relieved sigh.

“Ok, when is she due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you thought of any names?” she begins excitedly throwing out questions.

“Whoa, slow down there… Grandma. The due date is May 24th, and right now, that’s all we know. We have a baby doctor’s appointment in two days and we will get to find out the sex then,” I smile as Caitlin walks in the door.

“Well… I’m going to let you go, but I just wanted you to know…”

“Oh, wait hold on Mom, she just came back in,” I say turning the phone on speaker.

Caitlin just looks at me curiously, no doubt unsure where she stands in the conversation.

“I just wanted to say congratulations, and I can’t wait to see you next week.” She smiles.

“I’ll be as big as a house by then,” Caitlin chuckles.

“I can’t wait to see you! I bet you are so cute, pregnant!” my mom laughs.

“No, I’m not I look like…” Caitlin begins.

“You look beautiful,” I cut in. She looks down with a small shy smile, her chocolate brown eyes soft.

“Alright you two, I’ll talk to you later. Tell me how the appointment goes and I’ll try and work on your father a little bit,” she sighs.

“Bye mom.”

“Bye, Trina see you soon.”

Caitlin looks over to me as I push the end button, hanging up. Her eyes holding worry and a touch of guilt. I smile, pulling her into me lightly. She freezes at first, but soon melts into me, her head pillowed on my shoulder as my fingers lace with hers over her stomach and I plant a kiss in her coconut scented hair, she had cut it before she came back. It was no longer half way down her back but just skimming her collarbone, it's like she planned to tease me with the bare skin.

“Well that’s done,” I sigh.

“Your mom seemed excited. How mad was your dad?”

“Not exactly thrilled,” I grimace.

“Yeah I thought so,” she sighs. “So… how bout that Chinese? We’re starved.”

I let out a laugh. Even though this wasn’t planned, it seemed right.

Caitlin’s POV

I lay in amid 5 furry bodies on my king size bed, looking up the few animal shelters in Pittsburgh. The laptop perched on my growing stomach. I needed a job, something to do or I was gonna go insane! Right now, I was settling on doing some jobs here and there. The police department wanted a run through with their K-9 police dogs, the dogs and I were scheduled to do a show for the hospital soon, and I was going to go to some shelters to help out really bad cases for free. After all that’s what I did in Utah. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go with my career, but for right now that would have to suffice.

Today was the day of the baby appointment. But before hand, I was picking Sid up from practice, so we could go straight to the appointment. We were also planning on telling the guys today. Sid had wanted to do it yesterday, but I wanted to get more stuff unpacked and get a little more settled into the house. Sid had told them yesterday that I was back, but he didn’t tell them that I was pregnant. So I was going to walk into a locker room filled with my old friends that I hadn’t seen in months. The only ones that knew I was pregnant were Tanger, Mario, and Bylsma (Sid had told him yesterday), but Mario wouldn’t be there (We were waiting to get them and the Crosby’s all to lunch there next week), Bylsma hadn’t seen me yet, and Kris hadn’t seen me lately. Yup, today was the day of my unveiling. I was both excited to see my old friends and nervous at their reactions.

I look over to the clock, 11:00. I finish up my email to one of the shelters, offering my services, before shutting my laptop and placing it on the table next to me. I sigh, placing a hand on Ty’s head, to which he opens his eyes to look at me lazily before closing them again.

“Alright, I should get ready,” I groan getting out of my comfy bed and heading to the shower.

June 08, 2010 at Tuesday, June 08, 2010 , 12 Comments

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Discovering...Love? by AS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.